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I'm so stuck

NAS72106

My husband is a medical practitioner and at the age of 54 we have now discovered he is autistic. we have two girls 22 and 18 which live with us. His relationship with them is dismal and most recently because quite aggressive with our older daughter leaving her feeling unsafe home alone with him. She spent a week at my mums and is now home but i have no idea what to do. I have asked him to get some help but he refuses saying that at 54 that's just how he is and we have to learn to deal with him as he is. Is that really true? Both the kids and I are struggling. He refuses to tell the kids about his diagnosis saying it will compromise his image. not sure it could get any more compromised! Help! we are all getting professional help except him! 

Parents

  • I'm 55 and my daughter is 22 - I find it incredibly difficult to interface to her - you can almost guarantee that I'll say something that upsets her  every now and then.

    She is well aware that I'm aspie but she still holds me to a higher level - so as dad, I'm not allowed to be fallible    

    Trying to keep it a secret from your daughters is stupid - they have a choice of knowing that dad has some occasional difficulties if circumstances conspire - or the can know him as an a-hole forever.    His priorities seem messed up and he'd trying to live a lie.   Weird.

    It also says a lot about how he regards people on the spectrum - he doesn't want to be labelled  as one of 'them'..

    Is he terrified of others finding out and it killing his career?

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  • I'm 55 and my daughter is 22 - I find it incredibly difficult to interface to her - you can almost guarantee that I'll say something that upsets her  every now and then.

    She is well aware that I'm aspie but she still holds me to a higher level - so as dad, I'm not allowed to be fallible    

    Trying to keep it a secret from your daughters is stupid - they have a choice of knowing that dad has some occasional difficulties if circumstances conspire - or the can know him as an a-hole forever.    His priorities seem messed up and he'd trying to live a lie.   Weird.

    It also says a lot about how he regards people on the spectrum - he doesn't want to be labelled  as one of 'them'..

    Is he terrified of others finding out and it killing his career?

Children
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