Still Here

Thanks guys - I've been talking to him since my diagnosis, sharing ups and downs.    He finished his last chemo a couple of weeks ago - he was telling me that he'd had enough.

Now he's gone.

Donald Trump anyone ? 

Ditto.

So very sorry to hear your news. 

I've just heard that someone I've been corresponding with for the last few months (who is in the same boat as me) passed away yesterday.         I only replied to his last e-mail on Thursday..        

I feel kinda weird.    

I'm getting a 2nd opinion next week and we'll see what research options there are.    The whole problem is every person is different and every cancer is different - so it's all a bit hit & miss.

It’s amazing some of the experimental methods that have been used to fight cancer. Like the doctors who gave some one aids to cure the lukemia. Or the ones who injected flesh eating bacteria into a tumor that was too dense to attack with chemotherapy. Or the doctors who took immune cells out of the human body and genetically engineered them to be hyper aggressive before injecting them back in to the body. Caused a cytokine storm similar to very serious covid nearly killed the patient, but it didn’t and it did kill the cancer. Call me an optimist but never say never when it comes to beating cancer.

Reading 'The Logic of Collective Action' about freeriders and the tradgedy of the commons helped explain how my thinking didn't coincide with clearly how others think, and how they operate. You can see the role aspies play, working for the common good whilst others freeride, and why.

Plastic said:

Yes - I definitely think we have a 'lifespan' when in management - I've measured about 4 years before the narcissists and back-stabbers can get their heads around our very different management style and find ways to screw us over.   

Then it's time to pull the ejector seat handle before they move in to surgically destroy us. 

That has got me laughing so much ~ definitely, although they can't actually get their heads around the fact that the survival of the fittest delusion is an obstructive delusion, and that cooperation needs to occur in house for the company and that competition needs to be kept in the market place for profitable efficiencies involving the team as a whole.

It is just that they know how to high-jack or sabotage the operating protocols that everybody has to use, which unfortunately limits their own time at the top too ~ particularly as being corpse-climber careerists rather sets as such the back-stabbing examples for their own demise. Yikes!?!

It just staggers me how productively inefficient and economically unproductive that way of living is, but then compulsive addiction patterns are somewhat infamous for not facilitating open mindedness nor any real prospects for long-term good health and wealth. The survival of the fittest delusion is after all pathological and sociopathic.

Hay hoe!

I always hope more people might read things like this and start working out that greater efficiencies with much greater returns are way more healthy and way more viable. 

Ah!

That makes sense, the 4 years. Kinda tallys with me. Never thought the autism intersected here but it's clear I manage in a very different way to anyone else, always eye on the horizon, always impact foccussed, always able to juggle/see the whole thing in my head, always deliver under budget, on or ahead of schedule, high tech spec but more importantly does what's needed. But yes, i give no space to normies wanting their status n power n control, acting out whatever so become a target.

And yes, i burn out.

Yes - I definitely think we have a 'lifespan' when in management - I've measured about 4 years before the narcissists and back-stabbers can get their heads around our very different management style and find ways to screw us over.   

Then it's time to pull the ejector seat handle before they move in to surgically destroy us. 

Plastic said:

Maybe it's the curse of Asperger's that I can work out what's possible beforehand.

I always thought of it as being a gift and a curse ~ with the gift side involving the success and the curse involving those who became or were just full on saboteurs when they did not get the limelight.

Plastic said:

I've always found failure in projects are due to poor planning in the first place.     Stretch goals are normally some middle-manager removing all contingency from an already impractical timeline.  

I always called them 'Challenge Anneka's' ~ after the late eighties and early to mid nineties TV program where Anneka Rice got a medium sized financial bung and had to pull off a large resource outcome all big and charitably for some hard up community or social group and such like (basically the TV advertising thing with local businesses to do charitable acts with their goods and services ~ involving the 'pretty-woman' effect).

The irony of pulling a 'Challenge Anneka' was of course that most of us were not pretty women, and nothing charitable was actually going on! It was all quite evidently about the company profit margins and getting the next pay scaling, although I was completely content with my wages and was only ever interested in achieving greater operational efficiencies and a friendly work atmosphere ~ all big and prosocial.

This is where the above mentioned saboteurs got vexed into action and I ended up getting ousted from the company, which was actually quite pleasant and really luxurious as I had never earned so much money nor had I gotten severance pay before.

The basic problem was that I was in middle management and the upper management could not work out my approach to things, as they were aside from one completely competitive with a few being full on dark-side narcissists.

But as you state about middle (or line) management removing contingencies from project timelines ~ often to make life easier for themselves and harder for others career wise in lower management etcetera, that can pretty much be the strength of it at that or those level of things.

For upper (or area) management though 'stretch-goals' are their portfolios of credentials and are strategically sought or planned in order to remain at the top of the league for however long or short a duration that might remain the case (in the proverbial piranha and shark territories of business and all that). 

Unfortunately in my case several years after the aforementioned managerial discharge with severance ~ I had up to which picked up a few too many bad habits, as all I had on the go were sequenced stretch-goals and my business as such came fully to a complete and utter crash and burn ending!

My Aspergenesis and Executive Planning Disorder were really starting to make themselves known, as my business ending involved my social camouflaging and personal masking becoming my most debilitating psychological breakdown. Me faking it as a neurologically typical person had come to rather an end. Getting diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome nearly two decades later just made complete sense of it all.

Hmm, they seem set ok, and i've had some messages, but might explain the ones that have gone astray.

I had to look S Herts up!

Maybe it's the curse of Asperger's that I can work out what's possible beforehand.

I've always found failure in projects are due to poor planning in the first place.     Stretch goals are normally some middle-manager removing all contingency from an already impractical timeline.   

Plastic said:

I'm still adding things to the bucket list - some are more likely than others but in business they call them 'stretch goals' (I've never really understood it - if something was possible then it's not a stretch goal - it's just normally lazy staff finally got their acts together?)

The point of 'stretch-goals' is to really test the limit of what is possible and go for what might seem impossible or improbable, such as going for high risk innovations that really push the boundaries of creditability and make new ground or become game-changers and all that.

I'm still adding things to the bucket list - some are more likely than others but in business they call them 'stretch goals' (I've never really understood it - if something was possible then it's not a stretch goal - it's just normally lazy staff finally got their acts together?)

Some are easy-  I've never had a Nando's,      My daughter says it's completely cromulent (Simpsons) so I'll give it a go.

Others are doubtful - one last Disney Florida trip to do Rise of The Resistance and Flights of Passage rides with my daughter - personal closure - we're both huge Star Wars & Avatar fans.     We have a very narrow window in September this year or March next year - depending on me being functional, covid, general world craziness, weather etc etc.

Yes, look at Stephen Hawking, he was only given 2 years or so and ended up living to a ripe old age!

I'm sorry you feel cheated, it must be a horrible feeling. But I'm glad you did some amazing things and you're a Roy Batty!

Plastic said:

I'm a visual thinker - I find it very hard to write - you've probably noticed most of my sentences are short and abrupt - I have a sea of possible answers swirling in my head and I pluck one from the abyss so I have to edit my responses to make sense of them.   It's very time consuming.

We are very much alike then in respect of finding writing difficult, as it takes me ages to go through the multiplicities of my perspectives ~ and come up with an adequately edited and abridged version of them that is not a 'too-much-information' overkill session.

Plastic said:

I don't think my English is good enough to get my thoughts on paper-  it would look more like an Excel spreadsheet of random sentences.

Dude ~ your English is way more amenable than mine in terms of being meaningfully short, concise and to the point. The thing I find amusing is when people complain about how long my posts are after I have spent ages editing and abridging them. I look at your writing and imagine that one day I might achieve something similar, maybe before even the next life! ;-)

I'm a visual thinker - I find it very hard to write - you've probably noticed most of my sentences are short and abrupt - I have a sea of possible answers swirling in my head and I pluck one from the abyss so I have to edit my responses to make sense of them.   It's very time consuming.     

I don't think my English is good enough to get my thoughts on paper-  it would look more like an Excel spreadsheet of random sentences.