Living together

My girlfriend and i have been living together for three years now. She has a referral for a diagnosis but we are both pretty sure she is on the spectrum. I try to be as mindful as possible and not to confuse her with what i say and try not to be contradictory with things i say and do. Nonetheless she still does get in a real state by things i do. We love each other very much and really want the relationship.to work for good. She never stops working on herself and has recently started a taking hrt which is removing the mood swings and rapid changes in her moods. She has been in somr really dark places which has been horrible for me to see and obviously for her to experience.  She has said some horrible things to me and then regrets them afterwards ( not all of them im sure some i deserve!)

We decided to try a.little while me moving out , not a million miles away. This now seems to be going on. She is in tears when iam not there, some of the time!, but then experiences huge anxiety at the thought of me going back. Therfore we have put off and off my permanenet return. She feelsnot normal amd that everything always goes wrong for her and then we keep trying. I.know things will never be easy but i so want us to work just it is very difficult at the moment 

I would be very interested to hear comments, advice feedback

Best wishes 

Topbob 

Parents
  • i so want us to work

    If both of you can say the above, that is the most important thing.

    I've been 14 years in with some Highs and what felt like irrecoverable lows, just this morning I think I said something wrong and was back in the doghouse. I don't understand exactly why they get upset and unfortunately vice versa. It has to be hard when suddenly what I can accept can change.

    If you want this to work. Then you both have to work at both yourselves and your relationship and the goalposts will move. But this is the case for any relationship, the ASD just makes it harder to understand each other. But sometimes you don't have to understand to respect and love

  • Thankn you Beepee

    For your time responding and sharing your thoughts

     I hope that we can take inspiration from.you and your partner and I wish you well in the future

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