Being Bullied....again

Hi,  I was bullied when I was at school and I thought I'd had my fair share, but obviously not.  I'm now 37 and I've been accused by my next-door neighbour of not acknowledging her a few times....she's in her early 70's and she has had a go at me several times.  I know I'm not very good at knowing the social rules about when to say hello to people and whether I should or not, even if I know them well.  I've always had a problem with it - even when I see people on a daily basis sometimes - I don't know whether it's right to talk to them or what I should say.  When I was working in a hospital, I used to creep in so I didn't have to go through the anxiety of knowing what to do or say. And I'd wait for people to say hello to me first. 

I was really good friends with her until about 9 months ago and she suddenly had a massive go at me about not knowing what's wrong with me.  I know she knows I have some mental health problems (due to undiagnosed aspergers), but she doesn't know anything about maybe I have Asperger's because I only found out myself a few months ago. 

I haven't done anything wrong - everyone I know says I haven't.  The thing is, if she said the things she thinks to me to my face, then I would maybe understand it a bit more....but she does it by putting her collar up on the bus so she can't see me, she makes a point of crossing the road infront of me and then totally blanking me with a horrible face. At the bus-stop too, she makes a point of laughing and joking with every one else and totally ignoring me....I dread seeing her as I don't know what to do - I was taught to always be polite to people and it's hard to not be.

Sorry I'm having a right old moan, but has anyone else had this sort of problem - being bullied as an adult, or having the same sort of social problems?

 

 

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  • Thankyou all for your suggestions, I like Easy's comment about her being a bitchy old gossip too!!!

    Thanks Paull, It's good to know I'm not the only one who's been sneaking around to avoid people...I always thought I was mad as no-one I know has the same problem. It is hard for people to relate me as they never know how I'm going to be around them.

    Thankyou Jon, I think I would just like for it to go back to how it was but I know that cant happen.  I think I'd maybe want to be ok with ignoring her and letting her be how she is.  I just hate having friction with people as it's so hard to know what I'm meant to do when I see her.  I agree that it is up to me to tell people about my aspergers....and I will do sometime - but not to my neighbour I don't think. Also, I only found out a few months ago and haven't had a formal diagnosis so I don't know whether I should tell people or not.  Writing stuff down is a good idea too.

    Easy, your comment about just thinking about it like she just isn't my kind of person and not pretending she is - it actually helped on the bus today as she was on it when I got on...We both got off at the same stop and had to walk home the same way, but I thought - she is ignoring me so I don't have to feel bad about ignoring her. It's hard when she's actively nasty though.

    Thanks

    Wookie1

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  • Thankyou all for your suggestions, I like Easy's comment about her being a bitchy old gossip too!!!

    Thanks Paull, It's good to know I'm not the only one who's been sneaking around to avoid people...I always thought I was mad as no-one I know has the same problem. It is hard for people to relate me as they never know how I'm going to be around them.

    Thankyou Jon, I think I would just like for it to go back to how it was but I know that cant happen.  I think I'd maybe want to be ok with ignoring her and letting her be how she is.  I just hate having friction with people as it's so hard to know what I'm meant to do when I see her.  I agree that it is up to me to tell people about my aspergers....and I will do sometime - but not to my neighbour I don't think. Also, I only found out a few months ago and haven't had a formal diagnosis so I don't know whether I should tell people or not.  Writing stuff down is a good idea too.

    Easy, your comment about just thinking about it like she just isn't my kind of person and not pretending she is - it actually helped on the bus today as she was on it when I got on...We both got off at the same stop and had to walk home the same way, but I thought - she is ignoring me so I don't have to feel bad about ignoring her. It's hard when she's actively nasty though.

    Thanks

    Wookie1

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