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Think my partner is autistic

snowflake24

Hi All,

Just joined as hoping to get some advice and support. I have been with my boyfriend for well over a year now and as that time has passed, I have become more and more aware of certain behaviours of his that have 'autistic' traits.

The problem is, is that I know he's never been diagnosed with it (from some very subtle snooping) and I dont think he's aware these can make being in the relationship incredibly difficult at times.

Obviously I'm no expert, although I work with children with autism, I realise it can present itself in different ways and so what i think are 'traits' may not be, but I wondered if anybody could suggest some next steps etc. I ask now because we've reached a very signifcant point in our relationship and I feel that discussing and thinking about moving forward will be very difficult for him.

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated! :)

 

Parents

  • Hi all,

    Thanks for your responses so far! Already feel a lot more positive about things.

    Hohner- I agree that my reasoning is partly to do with my job and what I think see, however, it is for that reason that I've not pushed this matter any further with my partner. I don't want to be misguided and cause offence. What you have asked of his family describe them perfectly. They live in a remote area and rarely socialise with anyone other than family. They all find maintaing eye contact for any length of time, quite obviously difficult.

     

    Kasia- Thank you for your response. I do love him very much and it's more considering plans for the future than splitting up (although this could end up being a consequence). He sees things very black and white, sort of doesn't see that in order for us to secure our future, lots of different thigns have to happen.

     

    Some more information: He's often very tired and its very genuine. He doesnt see that he has free time even though his day is the same as any other person who works. He only has one close friend that I know of and when he's in a larger group, he doesnt really socialise well, over stepping the 'banter' at times, but genuinely not realising it. Will often go home early.

    To make things even more difficult, its a long distance relationship and unless I organise things to the very last detail and all he has to do is get to one place for a specific time, we dont see each other. He doesn't have the ability to sort it out.

     

    I realise these things might not be linked with autism, and like hohner said, it might be as a result of my job i;m thinking it is, but would just like to hear people's thoughts.

     

     

Reply

  • Hi all,

    Thanks for your responses so far! Already feel a lot more positive about things.

    Hohner- I agree that my reasoning is partly to do with my job and what I think see, however, it is for that reason that I've not pushed this matter any further with my partner. I don't want to be misguided and cause offence. What you have asked of his family describe them perfectly. They live in a remote area and rarely socialise with anyone other than family. They all find maintaing eye contact for any length of time, quite obviously difficult.

     

    Kasia- Thank you for your response. I do love him very much and it's more considering plans for the future than splitting up (although this could end up being a consequence). He sees things very black and white, sort of doesn't see that in order for us to secure our future, lots of different thigns have to happen.

     

    Some more information: He's often very tired and its very genuine. He doesnt see that he has free time even though his day is the same as any other person who works. He only has one close friend that I know of and when he's in a larger group, he doesnt really socialise well, over stepping the 'banter' at times, but genuinely not realising it. Will often go home early.

    To make things even more difficult, its a long distance relationship and unless I organise things to the very last detail and all he has to do is get to one place for a specific time, we dont see each other. He doesn't have the ability to sort it out.

     

    I realise these things might not be linked with autism, and like hohner said, it might be as a result of my job i;m thinking it is, but would just like to hear people's thoughts.

     

     

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