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Think my partner is autistic

snowflake24

Hi All,

Just joined as hoping to get some advice and support. I have been with my boyfriend for well over a year now and as that time has passed, I have become more and more aware of certain behaviours of his that have 'autistic' traits.

The problem is, is that I know he's never been diagnosed with it (from some very subtle snooping) and I dont think he's aware these can make being in the relationship incredibly difficult at times.

Obviously I'm no expert, although I work with children with autism, I realise it can present itself in different ways and so what i think are 'traits' may not be, but I wondered if anybody could suggest some next steps etc. I ask now because we've reached a very signifcant point in our relationship and I feel that discussing and thinking about moving forward will be very difficult for him.

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated! :)

 

Parents

  • Hello snowflake24,

    I'm a mum of a 4 year old who's been diagnosed with mild ASD few mothes ago. As I found out about it I've realised that it's very likely that his dad (my partner) has got the same condition. He suffered for anxiety since he can remember and which he blamed on difficult childhood but now we came to think he probably has mild ASD as well.

    I really sympathise with you, because I know how chalenging it can be to be in a relationship with someone who has this kind of problem. 

    It sounds like you are considering splitting up and I know it must be very difficult for you knowing how badly people on the autistic spectrum can take changes. I guess it all comes down to how much you love your partner, if there's a point in staying with him or not. 

    I think the best thing would be to talk to him about the condition and hope he will accept it and try to self improve, because it is possible. 

    In my case I know that as upsetting as it was, it was kind of relief for my partner to find out about it, to get more info etc. We talk about it a lot and I know he does try hard to improve his behaviour.

    There are time when I feel like just running away for him but I do love him alot, he is a good person and I think he deserves to have a loving family.

    Nobeody is perfect, we all have our issues and I think some people are able to hide theirs better then others.

    Whatever you decide to do I wish you a lot of strengh!

    :)

Reply

  • Hello snowflake24,

    I'm a mum of a 4 year old who's been diagnosed with mild ASD few mothes ago. As I found out about it I've realised that it's very likely that his dad (my partner) has got the same condition. He suffered for anxiety since he can remember and which he blamed on difficult childhood but now we came to think he probably has mild ASD as well.

    I really sympathise with you, because I know how chalenging it can be to be in a relationship with someone who has this kind of problem. 

    It sounds like you are considering splitting up and I know it must be very difficult for you knowing how badly people on the autistic spectrum can take changes. I guess it all comes down to how much you love your partner, if there's a point in staying with him or not. 

    I think the best thing would be to talk to him about the condition and hope he will accept it and try to self improve, because it is possible. 

    In my case I know that as upsetting as it was, it was kind of relief for my partner to find out about it, to get more info etc. We talk about it a lot and I know he does try hard to improve his behaviour.

    There are time when I feel like just running away for him but I do love him alot, he is a good person and I think he deserves to have a loving family.

    Nobeody is perfect, we all have our issues and I think some people are able to hide theirs better then others.

    Whatever you decide to do I wish you a lot of strengh!

    :)

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