Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm 41 and was diagnosed with ASD just before Christmas. My partner has been saying she had thought I was for some time but I had put our issues down to her depression... she is the only person who knows of my diagnosis so I am of course becoming a massive burden.
Anyone else had a late diagnosis? How have you coped with it?
We are actually in the same boat. My girlfriend also has depression. There is a lot of it going around at the moment. Maybe if people didn't see autism as a negative thing then we wouldnt have such a problem.
Do you think it may be to do with things being in a routine?
There are also some good videos on YouTube giving advice for people in relationships on the spectrum.
I think it may be to do with me struggling to read between the lines - I'm ok doesn't actually mean that and I should know this and respond with empathy (something she thinks I lack).
You're right though, wouldn't it be great if autism was seen as a positive? Initially she was really positive about my diagnosis, but now not so much. And I'm still trying get my head around it.
I'm reading books (The Journal of Best Practices is pretty good and relatable) and doing the "work". I'm doing it for my relationship - which she says is pressure... I hate feeling so confused!
I think I know what I need to do - be supportive and not problem solve - it's definitely a learning process.
Communication is key, I guess. Exhausting though, isn't it?