could problems with english literature and essays possibly indicate autism?

Hello, I was just looking for some advice. I have been questioning whether I may have autism for a few years now. I have regular periods of thinking yes I am and then other times I'm like of course I'm not. The one thing that is playing on my mind at the minute is whether people with autism struggle with English literature and analysis words. Just a bit of background, I am currently doing a masters degree, however, during my time at secondary school I really struggled with the analysis required for essays especially in English and Literature. I just could not wrap my head around what they were wanting. I was forced to do it for A-level as well as I could not do any of the other subjects in the block. No matter what I wrote I always got the same grade and comment. Whenever I asked for help they would reply 'you'll be fine' and would leg it out the room as if I was the devil. My mum even had me tested for dyslexia but I was too old for the test so it was inconclusive. No one would help me and I could not get my head around it. A chair is a chair. Its blue because the author wanted it to be blue. How am I supposed to know what was going on inside the mind of someone who lived in the eighteenth century. Why do we have to pick out themes why can't we just read it for what it is. I just did not get it. It even got to the point where the May half term before final year 13 exam we were given 4 essays to do, I got so overwhelmed I just didn't do them. It had got to the point in sixth form where I was working on essays from the time I finished school till 4am and still only had a paragraph. I would constantly have meltdowns, go to throw my laptop out the window. I was constantly on burn out and no one cared. I ended up breaking down the morning I went back after the half term because I was panicking that much that I hadn't done them, my tutor was one of my English teachers who came out and told me it didn't matter and that he would go through them with me so long as i had drafts. I got a grand total of 2 minutes during the next days tutor where he read the drafts and his great feedback was 'yeah that's right'. I finally got free of the 7 years of torture and did a undergraduate degree in history which I fully excelled at, almost 1sts across the board. Which is a miracle to say i only scrapped 1 B at A-level but I understood the subject matter - it was facts and figures and sources and historiography and it all just clicked for me. I finally felt I could do something. I then made the stupid decision of doing a Museum Studies masters and current module is about photography. I am no photographer and I am just getting flashbacks to english with analysing the photos. Its just a photo, lecturer asked for us to take pictures so i held up my camera and pressed the button. there was very little thought into it but they want essays on 1 picture and I just don't get it. The reading for this field is also so confusing. Its all abstract ideas I cannot get my head around and makes no sense. Its taken me 14 hours to read and understand a 18 page article, yet in history I could do it in 1 hour.

My question really is, is this a problem autistic people have or is it just me?

There are other things as well. I cannot make strong friendships. Any friendships I do make have a shelf-life of 2 years tops. I cannot deal with taking over a task when asked, I have to have started it. I have to have written clear instructions on how to do even the simplest things like using the washing machine. I have to have a routine/to-do list. I very often don't get through my to-do list. I cannot go into new situations alone. I hate going out for social stuff - no pubs or clubs for me, but also hate just going to a drink or hanging out with 1 friend. I become a mute in groups. I hate seminars where I am picked on to speak. I seem to cling or idolise people who help me. If you do something to me I don't like you will forever be on list of people I hate and will have to work pretty hard to get off it (most lecturers did manage to get off the list and I was very proud of them). I cannot do public speaking. I hate loud noises and bright lights (that could also be migraine though). I just know that when i get my own house and have to deal with food and use by dates etc I will need a spreadsheet to be able to cope. I have to have clear days when I am doing what chore. I cannot do small talk. I cannot do empathy very well. Chats die when I add something. I've never had a clear friend group always dotted between many but only one or two people in each. I never know what to say when I open my mouth. I don't word things well. My mums always telling me I have a problem with tone - its how you say it not what you say. I have to do the same round at night ensuring plug sockets and lights are off, checking the door is locked a certain number of times otherwise i cannot sleep. I have to do tasks and chores in the same order. Mum thinks its funny to move my shampoo etc on my shelf in the bathroom and not put it back in the same order when she cleans it then gets mad when I have an outburst. 

I just don't know if its me, or if it is something I've not been diagnosed with yet. I have been diagnosed with Depression and Social Anxiety but also have trichotillomania and potentially OCD but not confirmed just spoken to therapist about. I just feel there is something more but I don't want to bother the doctors at this time if it's just me and I'm the worst person on the planet 

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  • However, I'm not a medical professional so I can't say for sure. Have you considered using an essay writting service for your current masters program? It might take some of the stress off and allow you to focus on the parts of the program that you excel at. Also, congrats on excelling in your undergraduate history degree! It sounds like you found your niche. Don't let one difficult module in your masters program discourage you.

  • Hey there! I just stumbled across this old thread and wanted to give my two cents. First of all, I'm new to this forum so please forgive me if I'm not following proper etiquette. Anyway, I don't think struggling with English literature and essay writing necessarily indicates autism. It sounds like you may just have a different learning style or struggle with certain types of analysis.

  • its likely a concentration issue that interferes with reading large texts. easily distracted mind, doesnt concentrated enough to let the words sink in or focus on reading the text.

    concentration issues are common symptom in many disorders.

    for me personally english is my stronger subject. maths is my worst as it requires too much thinking and calculating and holding things in my head while i calculate it against others in the same head holding that number.

  • It does sound like there are a lot of traits there of autism and/or dyslexia.

    Not everyone on the Spectrum has problems with English lit specifically. Some in fact are very good at it. But, it all depends on how the communication difficulties manifest for you; on your personal profile. The difficulties with abstract ideas can be indicative.

    As you are on a masters course, do you have access to in-house clinical psychologists who could do a proper assessment for both? It does sound like you need one.

  • I used to like English classes but after I started to get a lot of writing assignments, it was just a real nightmare. I always spent hours writing and rewriting them and it wasn't enough, my teacher never liked them. Now, whenever I have to write something, even if it is a simple topic, I read a lot of examples before starting to write. For example, last time, I had to review a boring movie, so I have read the examples from https://writingbros.com/ in order to understand what should I focus on and I have got the desired mark.

  • My degree is also in Eng. Lang & Lit - and most of my work concerns interpretation of texts. I had though a very good college teacher prior who helped me greatly figure out how to write essays.

  • I scored a B* in my gcse English lit 

  • One of my many employment advisors told me that I should just lie about my lack of English qualifications.

    To quote, "nobody is going to check or ask to see certificates, so if anyone asks you always have it".  

    But being honest, I did an English course as an adult and I achieved a level 2 qualification in functional skills in English.

  • I wasn't good at English literature, but I think that my technical English is ok, which is good enough for me as I have a technical job.

    Here in Scotland it was (and maybe still is) the case that someone with a degree who wanted to do a teaching qualification needed / needs a Higher English (which contains English literature).  I am aware of a few Science or technical people who don't have a Higher English and couldn't get in to teacher training to do a PGCE to teach their subject in a state school, even though there could be a shortage of teachers in that subject and their technical English could seem ok. 

  • I have always struggled with English exams.  Although most people I meet seem to think my everyday English is ok.

    A classic example is when I was asked a question in a mock English exam, to identify two language techniques being used by the author and how he uses them to create the desired effect.

    The only question going through my head was, what's a language technique?  And I left the answer blank.

  • I got the highest grade in all of my GCSEs but I hated how uncertain English was. I hated all the essay subjects at the time because I never knew if the examiner would like what I had written or not, but in science and maths you usually know if you answered correctly. I would always run out of time as well. The mark scheme for english literature said that you would get top marks if you were "insightful and exploratory" but this has zero objective meaning! I would quite often disagree with my teacher's interpretation of the text or wonder how someone would ever think of it. In primary school we had to do a test about a poem and every other person in the class wrote something like "it sounds like the rain" but I was completely confused. I thought, no, it doesn't sound anything like the rain, it just sounds like a person reading a poem. 

  • Hi ,

    I am really sorry to hear about all the challenges you have had over the years. Thank you for sharing this with the community. You may like to look at our information about autism spectrum disorders: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

    If you were interested in finding out if you are on the autism spectrum, you would need to have a formal diagnostic assessment. You may find it useful to have a look at the following link for further information about diagnosis and the benefits of getting one: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis

    Furthermore, it is important the professional you see has experience of autism spectrum disorders. You can find details of diagnostic services on our Autism Services Directory in the Assessment and diagnosis section: http://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

    If you have further questions, you may like to contact our Autism Helpline team. They can provide you with information and advice about getting a diagnosis. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Friday 10am to 3pm.Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an adviser.

    I hope this helps,

    ChloeMod.

  • I'm too new to this to say. It's only been since about May that I've been looking into my own autism traits. I see a lot of overlap between how I am and autism traits.

    This year I've been trying to read up on different types of autism (Asperger's, Pathological Demand Avoidance, ADHD are the ones I've looked closely at so far) so that I'm better informed before seeking a diagnosis.

    However, that's just my way I guess.

    I really enjoy research so researching the conditions first works well for me at least.

  • I was in a remedial English Class at GCSE, but still obtained a C. Smiley

    I learned English PROPERLY online.

  • You have hit the nail on the head, metaphor, to get good grades in exams you have to know what the examiners are looking for and give them exactly that.

    I finally passed an equivalent exam to GCSE English language through a lot of help and useful websites such as BBC bitesize and the open university openlearn program.

  • That's really interesting, thanks for sharing. I could do neither, got same grades in both, was even put in a special resit group in year 11 because I didn't get my target grade in english language. I had all the resources and notes available and still just could not figure out what they were wanting from me. One thing that is making me feel I am not on the spectrum is that I am an avid reader of fiction, even the classics. But only since I've been an adult have I understood them. I'm slowly picking up things that I think 'oh that's probably what we would have looked at in class if we read this book' but I still couldn't write an essay on it. I don't know if that is coming with age or not. I just love books. I have over 1,000 from many different genres, its such as massive escape for me and I often read more than 1 book at a time, but from different genres or formats and different times of the day when I have time. So I'm really not sure. 

  • It's not hard and fast, but it has been mentioned at my local AS support group that a potential sign of AS is if a person is good at English language but struggles at English literature for GCSE. However, such signs generally will not be noticed until Y8 at the earliest. They will be more prominent by Y10.

    Children's fiction is one thing but the classics of English literature are another. Most of the classic were written for adults, rather than young teenagers, and require a mature mindset to properly understand and comprehend them. This helps to explain why there are 10 year olds with GCSEs in maths but it's rare to find a 10 year old with a GCSE in English literature.

    There is some anecdotal evidence that kids who are hyperlexic in primary school, or reading full sentences in reception class, rarely get top grades in English literature GCSE, but more evidence is needed before reaching a conclusion.

    The English literature GCSE is easier than it was in the past because there are so many resources on the internet explaining and deciphering the popular texts. In the past all students had was the texts and their teachers. Literature notes existed but could be tricky to find, and there existence were not always publicised by teachers.