Hate living on my own sometimes

On the one hand I like it  - the peace, solitude and quiet, allowing me to read my books without distractions and to have control over my life. On the other hand, however,  I get so homesick and anxious, and sometimes find it unbearable being alone, all by myself, with no company. I miss my parents and brother when I am alone, and it makes me more obsessive, sometimes to the point of panic.

Being alone makes me nervous, even though I like my own space. When with my parents, I retreat to my bedroom most of the time, but their presence is reassuring.

At the moment I am feeling sad, deflated, anxious, stressed and uncertain. I spent Christmas with my parents; now I am home alone at my flat.

Parents
  • Hi Hope, thanks for sharing.

    I am caught up in the same catch 22(too be alone or not too be alone),, but I think this is to do with our reassurance levels that someone is out there for you(even in the background), but at the same time not being directly controlling in your world crowding your space, personally for me,,my external family never been there for me and never will be, which does not helped my Autism went I am looking for kindness, love, reassurance or just are you okay. I visit them just because I am lonely, not because I really wish too visit them, they are in there own worlds anyway and do not understand my coping problems, so as with you, I just retreat to my own area in there home within distance but no directly engaged,this  does not help me long-term.

    My strategy for the future is too get a daily or when needed welfare phone call/check from a support worker I can trust or a befriender to bridge the gap and also try a find a way of me being more comfortable in my own home. ie music or light background grounding noise of life.

    So in a way we are both dealing with the same issu,, we are not alone so too say.

     

Reply
  • Hi Hope, thanks for sharing.

    I am caught up in the same catch 22(too be alone or not too be alone),, but I think this is to do with our reassurance levels that someone is out there for you(even in the background), but at the same time not being directly controlling in your world crowding your space, personally for me,,my external family never been there for me and never will be, which does not helped my Autism went I am looking for kindness, love, reassurance or just are you okay. I visit them just because I am lonely, not because I really wish too visit them, they are in there own worlds anyway and do not understand my coping problems, so as with you, I just retreat to my own area in there home within distance but no directly engaged,this  does not help me long-term.

    My strategy for the future is too get a daily or when needed welfare phone call/check from a support worker I can trust or a befriender to bridge the gap and also try a find a way of me being more comfortable in my own home. ie music or light background grounding noise of life.

    So in a way we are both dealing with the same issu,, we are not alone so too say.

     

Children
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