Life's a Beach......

….and then you die.

This is probably going to be the strangest thread I’ve ever posted.     I apologise if people find this upsetting.   I’ve mentioned before that I have some serious health problems – however…..

I was rushed to hospital last Monday morning unable to breathe – heart pounding, tingling all over, feeling feint – taken straight to the resus ward and had lots of tests and scans done.    

Turns out I have multiple pulmonary embolisms (lots of blood clots in both lungs) blocking almost all oxygen absorption – but they are a secondary effect of the cancer that has silently spread all around my body.    

I'm afraid that it's 'Game Over!'

I may or may not post here again – my priorities have been somewhat rearranged for me - but if I’m ever up in the middle of the night with some time to spare, you’ll see me smiling over the forum again for as long as I’m around.

I have a difficult journey ahead of me and, no matter how many friends and family are beside me, I will be walking this path very much alone.     

As Roy Batty said:

“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.”

Parents Reply Children
  • It has highlighted a huge split in my mask - on the outside I'm totally rational and practical - I'm dealing with all the things that *have* to be dealt with - wills, pensions etc.    The nurses couldn't get their heads around the way I appeared to be functioning after being given the news - but it's classic engineer / aspie - we have a situation so we find a solution.   

    Unfortunately, there's a little, terrified, 8-year old boy that pops out every now and then - almost schizophrenicly switching between the two when people touch upon any subject that's highly emotional - like my daughter etc.    A direct path to the *real* me.

    I'm now out of hospital - survived the night ok - but having daily blood thinners - more tests coming in a week or so.