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Husband verses son

Rusky

Hi,everyone, I don't know what to do anymore. I have 13 year old son with ASD, very high functioning, in the main stream school etc, but very aggressive, disrespectful, very challenging behavior. He is constanly trying to break the rules. My husband takes this challenge to his authoruty very badly, we have been to the course, learned about ASD etc, but he is very oldfashined , he feels that my son tries to dominate the place (which is true) but he deals with it in a very aggressive manner, like you would deal with someone who is bad mouthing you on the street. He has not hurt him physically, but I'm afraid it will happen at some point and my son is not just going to take it, he will retaliate and then what I'm going to do? I intefer all the time when they have their aggressive stand offs, I know it's wrong but I can not stand and watch this.

I'm afraid that my marriage will be over soon if our conflict over our son carries on, but I love my husband and I love our sons ( we have two13 and 9), boys need their father and he can be so good with them, it's just this challenge to his authoruty he can not deal with fairly and it's breaking us apart.

Can anyone suggest anything or maybe you have similar situation at home?

Thank you 

Parents

  • With Aspergers, I can only approach problems from a process to model system, which is good academically but in coping, sometimes not so good, but.., here is my advice

    The key issue is respect between all family members.... with respect comes acknowledgment and communication. Respect is the foundation of love, were love meets power is shared, were there is no respect or respect from only one party, it is an off-set relationship foundation, resulting in a power-struggle, confrontation or a fight. People need to understand respecting someone is a love and normally result is a mirroring love. Respect is the power of peace.

    I grew up in a disharmony family because my mother and step-father hated each other(and still do), socially confused I run and hide.

    So, with respect learning relationship it must start with the parents showing love to each other and respect which is mirrored by the children,, maybe your whole family dynamics needs to be looked at. Although, I maybe biased, based on my own childhood experiences.

    Giving respect is a beautiful thing, with aspergers I enjoy the harmony it brings, it becomes a very rational environment which is good. Maybe a holiday in Japan with a samurai master for your son, or learn a martial art Smile

    My thoughts are with you, thankyou for sharing.

     

     

     

     

Reply

  • With Aspergers, I can only approach problems from a process to model system, which is good academically but in coping, sometimes not so good, but.., here is my advice

    The key issue is respect between all family members.... with respect comes acknowledgment and communication. Respect is the foundation of love, were love meets power is shared, were there is no respect or respect from only one party, it is an off-set relationship foundation, resulting in a power-struggle, confrontation or a fight. People need to understand respecting someone is a love and normally result is a mirroring love. Respect is the power of peace.

    I grew up in a disharmony family because my mother and step-father hated each other(and still do), socially confused I run and hide.

    So, with respect learning relationship it must start with the parents showing love to each other and respect which is mirrored by the children,, maybe your whole family dynamics needs to be looked at. Although, I maybe biased, based on my own childhood experiences.

    Giving respect is a beautiful thing, with aspergers I enjoy the harmony it brings, it becomes a very rational environment which is good. Maybe a holiday in Japan with a samurai master for your son, or learn a martial art Smile

    My thoughts are with you, thankyou for sharing.

     

     

     

     

Children
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