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Husband verses son

Rusky

Hi,everyone, I don't know what to do anymore. I have 13 year old son with ASD, very high functioning, in the main stream school etc, but very aggressive, disrespectful, very challenging behavior. He is constanly trying to break the rules. My husband takes this challenge to his authoruty very badly, we have been to the course, learned about ASD etc, but he is very oldfashined , he feels that my son tries to dominate the place (which is true) but he deals with it in a very aggressive manner, like you would deal with someone who is bad mouthing you on the street. He has not hurt him physically, but I'm afraid it will happen at some point and my son is not just going to take it, he will retaliate and then what I'm going to do? I intefer all the time when they have their aggressive stand offs, I know it's wrong but I can not stand and watch this.

I'm afraid that my marriage will be over soon if our conflict over our son carries on, but I love my husband and I love our sons ( we have two13 and 9), boys need their father and he can be so good with them, it's just this challenge to his authoruty he can not deal with fairly and it's breaking us apart.

Can anyone suggest anything or maybe you have similar situation at home?

Thank you 

Parents

  • hi - hope is right.  It's a difficult situation but escalating it will only make it worse.  You are stuck in the middle + it must be heartbreaking.  No-one likes a challenge to their authority + that goes for your son as well.  However, in theory it shd be a bit easier for your husband to develop different ways of interacting with your son than vice versa?  I'm sure you must have been thru all this on many occasions with your husband but the situation doesn't change + maybe gets worse?  Something's got to give.  Do you think your son is aware just how bad things are?  Do either of them realise the effect they're having?  Everyone has a role to play in relationships - you try to appease the situation, seeing things from both sides.  Maybe you need to rethink how you react to the both of them.  How is the younger child managing with all this?  Sorry for all the ??s.  I'm not a psychologist, just someone with an interest in how relationships interplay + the results that follow.  I also feel for you because I'd feel anxious, disappointed + upset if I was in your situation.  Sorry I can't be of more help, wish I cd. bw

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  • hi - hope is right.  It's a difficult situation but escalating it will only make it worse.  You are stuck in the middle + it must be heartbreaking.  No-one likes a challenge to their authority + that goes for your son as well.  However, in theory it shd be a bit easier for your husband to develop different ways of interacting with your son than vice versa?  I'm sure you must have been thru all this on many occasions with your husband but the situation doesn't change + maybe gets worse?  Something's got to give.  Do you think your son is aware just how bad things are?  Do either of them realise the effect they're having?  Everyone has a role to play in relationships - you try to appease the situation, seeing things from both sides.  Maybe you need to rethink how you react to the both of them.  How is the younger child managing with all this?  Sorry for all the ??s.  I'm not a psychologist, just someone with an interest in how relationships interplay + the results that follow.  I also feel for you because I'd feel anxious, disappointed + upset if I was in your situation.  Sorry I can't be of more help, wish I cd. bw

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