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Husband verses son

Rusky

Hi,everyone, I don't know what to do anymore. I have 13 year old son with ASD, very high functioning, in the main stream school etc, but very aggressive, disrespectful, very challenging behavior. He is constanly trying to break the rules. My husband takes this challenge to his authoruty very badly, we have been to the course, learned about ASD etc, but he is very oldfashined , he feels that my son tries to dominate the place (which is true) but he deals with it in a very aggressive manner, like you would deal with someone who is bad mouthing you on the street. He has not hurt him physically, but I'm afraid it will happen at some point and my son is not just going to take it, he will retaliate and then what I'm going to do? I intefer all the time when they have their aggressive stand offs, I know it's wrong but I can not stand and watch this.

I'm afraid that my marriage will be over soon if our conflict over our son carries on, but I love my husband and I love our sons ( we have two13 and 9), boys need their father and he can be so good with them, it's just this challenge to his authoruty he can not deal with fairly and it's breaking us apart.

Can anyone suggest anything or maybe you have similar situation at home?

Thank you 

Parents

  • I have Aspergers, and somtimes wind my Dad up the wrong way, but less so now because I have my own flat.

    My Dad used to lose his temper very easily, invading my space, shouting in my face etc. I found this scary, and when in the full heat of a tantrum, it just made my behaviour worse. I used to run up stairs and shut myself into the toilet, screaming, while my Dad went ballistic, threatening to phone social services  etc. People with autism are often very sensitive to confrontation and people invading their space, and I hate to say this but your husband is likely making things worse by losing his temper too.

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  • I have Aspergers, and somtimes wind my Dad up the wrong way, but less so now because I have my own flat.

    My Dad used to lose his temper very easily, invading my space, shouting in my face etc. I found this scary, and when in the full heat of a tantrum, it just made my behaviour worse. I used to run up stairs and shut myself into the toilet, screaming, while my Dad went ballistic, threatening to phone social services  etc. People with autism are often very sensitive to confrontation and people invading their space, and I hate to say this but your husband is likely making things worse by losing his temper too.

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