People

I agree - autistic people on the whole get me a lot better than neurotypical ones - though I’m struggling to make friends even within the ASD circle. I do try to be open with people about autism and associated behaviours. Being honest I just have the one long term friend really - it’s quite depressing and I’m not sure how to turn things around from here. I feel I’m being channeled by life into an early demise. It really is eating away at wellbeing. The irony is 6 to 10 people would suffice, I’m not looking to be crazy popular but just have a few people in my life who genuinely want to know me. 

Some of it I’ve figured out - but generally I am clueless to it. I’ve tried just being myself then trying to change different things but it all ends up the same way. I think I may be too intense for some people but as pathetic as it sounds I think my values rarely alone with others and this is an issue. Thing is I’m a caring person in my own way. I am however getting to the point where my social ineptitude is destroying my life and wellbeing. I do struggle to understand perspectives unless I’m told bluntly. I’m terrible at reading people which I guess makes learning from this much harder.

Do those you want to befriend know of your ASD?

Remember, friends are those who want the best for you regardless of your quirks, and those who want to bring you down should be ejected from your life. I personally enjoy being around Autistic people. The 'normies' are the difficult one's.

Hi, I just wondered, if you stood outside yourself looking in, do you know what this dislike is (not asking you to say it here)? I know what people dislike about me, but maybe you dislike yourself more than they do? Do you get feedback from them, or do they disappear? You don't have to answer any of these by the way.

I could group the dislikes of myself into categories of things I can't change, things I could change but don't want to, things I wish I could change and things I'm not yet aware of. Like talking about something and stimming,   or talking for 20 minutes when they gave up listening in the first minute. I could probably do something about it but I won't because it's too hard. 

I have one friend and I don’t think I could live with or close to her. I’d like to build more friendships but it’s impossible between my abilities to maintain friendships and peoples natural dislike of me - my prospects aren’t great. 

I like getting to know people but struggle to maintain friendships or people just take a disliking of me. It’s genuinely draining the life out of me. 

I feel the same and have been thinking that I will probably live alone forever because I feel 80% introverted and need my own space. I do enjoy socialising with family and friends occassionally but after so long I want my own space back and I do not know how I would cope with living with a partner or kids

I could live in a small community with a bunch of my friends - I suspect they are all undiagnosed aspies and all very capable, interesting people that enjoy conversation about any strange subjects.

As a group, we could solve any problem - we're rocket scientists, nuclear physicists, software engineers, mathematicians, F1 engineers, commercial pilots etc. - REAL nerds.      

Couldn’t agree more - I’d like to blame neurotypical people for my rounds but those with ASD can be just as bad! 

I see where you're coming from.     I really believe that humans are territorial and we need at least 500 feet between dwellings or it causes stress.     Living in high-density blocks should be classed as cruel and unusual punishment. 

People - Can't live with them, not allowed to slaughter them. 

I am terrible at things like that - I just end up being isolated among a bigger group. 

Hurt may be the wrong word - more worn down. 

I’m terrible at it, I grant I try harder than many on the spectrum but that’s because I learned than loneliness made me miserable - transpires people do the same thing. 

Hi Anthony

sorry you have been hurt. I think we all know what you mean if that helps. 

Sorry about that, Anthony, has something happened that made you upset? It's very hard to socialise at the moment isn't it. I think you're better at it than a lot of us are, but the outlook is so vague it's making it hard to get out of our little bubbles. 

Have you tried a hobby and socializing with people within a specific group for that hobby? I play a sport and it is just enough social interaction to keep me satisfied as there is a shared interest in the sport so conversation is easier to accommodate but also limited because obviously your playing the sport as a priority as opposed to pure social reasons.

X