• Replies 14 replies
  • Subscribers 33 subscribers
  • Views 4499 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Eye Contact

GE90BEN

I really struggle with this. Even my friends, Girlfriend and my family. When i do make eye contact its at silent points in the conversation which is obviously not the correct point. Also when i have to look into peoples eyes for a long time they start to water and since im mid conversation, whether that be with my employer or my parents, i cant do anything like wipe them or anything. I cant do this eye contact thing, I do listen to what people say but since im not making eye contact they think im taking no notice. I also feel like im being watched when im out. One way i dealt with this is wearing sunglasses everytime i went out. It helps a lot and makes me feel more at ease making eye contact since the person i am chatting to cant see my eyes. This of course isn't always possible to do for example at night time you will look silly.

Any tips for improving eye contact. I have tried the talking to myself in the mirror but i feel so uncomfortable and my eyes start to water and i just automatically look everywhere but myself in the mirror. Its annoying because people get a bad impression from me. They think im taking no notice and im not interested in the conversation or im not listening etc.

Sorry about the puncutation in this post. I tend to use commas a lot instead of full stops. Dont really know the difference Stuck out tongue

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Parents Reply Children
  • in reply to NAS62563

    I’ve had 2 problems with that technique. First-I was too focused on estimating how long should I keep eye contact. Even without counting I was  constantly thinking “now? Is it time now? Look away or keep staring for few more seconds?”. So I couldn’t focus on the conversation. Second-I’ve noticed that I completely lose track of the conversation the moment I look into someone’s eyes. 

    I look at people’s mouth (I don’t know if people can notice that or not). It’s actually hard for me not to look at someone’s mouth because their lips move constantly while they’re talking so they draw my attention.

    I also unfocus my eyes on purpose (the same way that it is needed to look at stereograms) while I know I have to keep an eye contact with someone. Again, I don’t know if people can notice that or not.

  • in reply to NAS62563

    i will give this a go and see how it works thank you.