Recently Diagnosed

Before diagnosis I really thought that I had a personality disorder. I felt-and still do sometimes-a complete outsider and messed up person who could not be accepted anywhere. My self-esteem was low and I spent ages obsessing about my life and problems. To have the diagnosis of AS is very reassuring. I am what they call very high-functioning, although I have serious anxiety problems, concomitant OCD and difficulties relating to people in an intuitive way. I feel very alone in the world because I feel that my real self is constantly submerged beneath a mask of 'normality'. I often feel like I have a split personality. People tell me that I seem confident and out-going, but I am nothing of the sort. Talking for me is a coping mechanism, the more anxious I feel the more I talk. And I am very introverted-Iam always thinking about myself and my own needs and I wish I could be more open and emotionally engaged.

Before diagnosis I really thought that I had a personality disorder. I felt-and still do sometimes-a complete outsider and messed up person who could not be accepted anywhere. My self-esteem was low and I spent ages obsessing about my life and problems. To have the diagnosis of AS is very reassuring. I am what they call very high-functioning, although I have serious anxiety problems, concomitant OCD and difficulties relating to people in an intuitive way. I feel very alone in the world because I feel that my real self is constantly submerged beneath a mask of 'normality'. I often feel like I have a split personality. People tell me that I seem confident and out-going, but I am nothing of the sort. Talking for me is a coping mechanism, the more anxious I feel the more I talk. And I am very introverted-Iam always thinking about myself and my own needs and I wish I could be more open and emotionally engaged.