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College Student - Working from home

SunnyDayz

Hi, I'm fairly new to the community.  My 18 year old daughter was diagnosed with ASD a few months ago; she has been attending a local college, taking a BTEC in Applied Science, which she is really enjoying, but the temporary closure of the college and working from home is a major issue for her.  We believe she may also have ADD/ADHD but hasn't been tested for that yet. 

She just can't sit down and start working, when at home (she used to have this problem at school with homework, before diagnosis); it has been a few weeks now and we just can't seem to find a way to help her, or get her to help herself.  When she tries to sit down to work she instantly feels angry and frustrated.  Unfortunately, she then starts to fall behind with work, which makes her more frustrated and then anxious, and it becomes a vicious circle.  Her focus is very fragile, the slightest thing breaks it, she can't focus or use her hyper focus.  She has a nice calm working environment and a desk that we have set up for her, we've made changes to make things as easy for her as possible, but nothing has helped.  She is becoming a little down over it and I just wish I had the skills to help.

We have read a few articles on how to focus etc, and had some plans and ideas, but it seems to be getting worse rather than better.

It's incredibly frustrating and upsetting for her and us, and I was wondering if anyone had any hits and tips; has anyone else had this problem?

Thanks for any help or suggestions

  • Hi Sunnydayz 

    does your daughter like any sort of craft that could relax her mind and ease the frustration/ anxiety cycle so that her mind can then move into her college work easier.  I find mindfulness really helpful and personally use crafts such as crochet, knitting, colouring. Once my mind is calmer it then helps me to move onto something that requires more focus without a sense of pressure, as my mind can process the information better and therefore it helps me to not get so frustrated and distracted. 

  • Adjusting to a new working environment is difficult at the best of times, without everything else that is going on. I'm still waiting for a ASD diagnosis, but working from home or any independent learning is something I struggled with a lot at university (and still do to an extent). One thing that I find helpful in reducing the anxiety about falling behind, is lowering the expectations I have of myself and being more realistic about what I'm able to get done. When struggling to get anything done, then aiming to work for 20 minutes on one small bit of work feels more achievable which reduces the frustration and anxiety. 20 minutes work is much better than getting no work done, and often I'm able to work longer than that once I've started.

    Or if 20 minutes is too much aim for 10 or 15 minutes, or whatever feels realistic for your daughter. And she can build up from there. Concentrating on areas of her course for now that she particularly enjoys and/or finds easier might also make it easier to maintain focus. There is a technique called Pomodoro which is based around this approach that might be helpful (though I don't use Pomodoro myself).

    Taking a break when she's feeling anxious/frustrated might be helpful and do something that she finds relaxing, and coming back to the work afterwards. One tip that's being recommended by my workplace (we're almost all working from home now) is going for a walk just before starting work, with the idea that your walking from your home to your place of work (even if the same place!) allowing you to get into the mindset for work. If exercise helps your daughter deal with anxiety, then that might also help a bit with feeling anxious when she starts working.

    In terms of concerns about falling behind, it might be worth speaking to her college tutors about. They may be able to advise, and if she continues finding it difficult to adjust to home working then tutors can help with extensions etc.