Supermarket queues

I can't really shop at supermarkets these days anyway as I have been banned from a few because they think I am a criminal (How can one get banned without stealing or without missbehaving?) as somehow I act suspicious. I can't say I have autism as I don't know so I have no means to defend myself or explain...

Other stores have long narrow isles which I just can't do anymore, or they have the first long isle full of soap/shampoos where I can't pass without shutting down (Certain smells trigger it for me). 

And though my Mum dies all the shopping, I am now finding that I can't go in the smaller shops either as they are using the queue system and I panic in queues. 

In the past I have gone round isles again and again not buying anything waiting for queues to go down so I could pay for the product I wanted to buy.

And I don't do online payments after years ago I was hacked into and also defrauded on two seperate occasions when I first tried to use Ebay and my bank said "Never ever link your bank account to the internet". So I have a frozen paypal account. I did not even reach my tenth transaction on ebay! 

So, the only way I buy things these days is via male order either via a cheque or via card over the phone. 

Before this lockdown I used to go in the smal shops, but now I can't. 

A couple of months ago I was told I can put in for PIP. I said I don't expect to get it, but I was told I may as well try. I have nothing to loose. 

So I tried. I explained that I find I can't go in many supermarkets these days and also about the shutdowns where I am basically on the floor paralized.

But what really puzzled me were the results when they came back. I did not get a single point. Now I didn't expect to be able to get PIP. But not having a single point even though I clearly explained certain difficulties made me think "Who can get PIP? Even if I had no arms, legs and no head, I still wouldn't get it I expect! Hahaha! 

But I did find that both for the benefits assessment and the PIP assessment, that they were asking all the wrong questions. The questions asked did not answer or apply to the difficulties I had been facing. It was like I am ona type of sideband to the main channels somehow?

PIP and related assessments are dreadful, they assume everyone is trying to play the system and try to trip you up into saying you don't have any problems, and take things out of context/edit records to match their decision if they can get away with it.

E.G. 'I can shop ok on a good day, but these happen only once a month if I'm lucky and I go hungry rest of the time' becomes 'I can shop ok'

Given difficulty in communicating and tendency to want to give answers people want to hear most autistics have, their approach effectively bars most of us from qualifying for support.

I'd appeal, have a bullet point statement of struggles written out before hand (two copies) make sure they sign the one you keep so that evidence can't be altered in their records later. Make it clear you need time to process questions and form answers and if possible have someone there who can intervene and set them straight if they try to rush you or bully in any other way.

When they ask questions, refer to notes to resist any attempts they use to pressure you into understating problems.

Bank issue seems very strange, I'd get an outside review of this if possible and check anti-virus regularly.

I recently have been taken off sick and placed on a "Get back to work" list as I was assessed recently. Now they wanted me to appeal, but I could not face it, so I said no. 

The number one thing I am concerned about is avoiding another burnout as my big concern from the pattern of the last few burnouts is that each one I have had... Well. Each time my physical abilities have got worse. The fear is I can't get any worse then I was after the last burnout without being physically dissabled, so this is the numbet one thing I have to avoid. 

Yes, I too plan to go back to work but how do I avoid the anxiety, stress and the shutdowns and then burnout? I don't have a clue, as the last job I knew back to front inside out and I was only doing 4 to 5 hour shifts every other day of the week! In the past I was down to working for nothing as my travelling was costing me the same as my pay as they realized I could not work any more then about 2 hours a day before I hit issues. (I greatly slow down ad everything becomes 10 times as hard physically if a partial shutdown starts).

In that case I'd suggest trying to build your own work environment. The internet is a huge benefit for us here as we can start building an audience as a kind of 'work therapy' on our own timescale.

I did this myself a while back more out of desperation then anything, and got amazing results. But it's not quick in terms of income as between self-training and building my audience it'll be another year before this becomes a real income.

Trick I found here is to find a problem you want to help people with, then build your own business around solving the problem. If interested I'd start with a collection of social media pages/channels on different subjects that interest you, see which get most engagement both from you and other people and go from there. Even if not grown into a business is a good form of therapy and practices transferable skills.

In that case I'd suggest trying to build your own work environment. The internet is a huge benefit for us here as we can start building an audience as a kind of 'work therapy' on our own timescale.

I did this myself a while back more out of desperation then anything, and got amazing results. But it's not quick in terms of income as between self-training and building my audience it'll be another year before this becomes a real income.

Trick I found here is to find a problem you want to help people with, then build your own business around solving the problem. If interested I'd start with a collection of social media pages/channels on different subjects that interest you, see which get most engagement both from you and other people and go from there. Even if not grown into a business is a good form of therapy and practices transferable skills.