Fellow hermits unite!

Heh, silly topic heading aside, any other autistic folk finding themselves falling into the old grouping of would-be hermits? I'd say we're a bit of a sub group, more leaning towards the mid to high functional. I expressed in a previous thread how my need to have every route of a conversation, every answer, possibility and the likes has effectively closed off the vast majority of public outings, that I find myself confined to my home. In the past I'd argue this would have been life destroying, but given this age of technology, I've finally been able to jump beyond the constraints that come with physical social interaction and sublimate it with forums and so on.

Don't get me wrong, I imagine in the long term this will induce negative issues, but in our lives we're always in a uphill battle, fighting for the lesser of two or many more evils in finding ways to cope with our own oddities that came with out silly minds. But hey, lets make the most of it while we can! 

Parents
  • Yes. Here here. I've been lucky to build my life at home over many years with all my interests. When a lot younger I struggled with expectations of youth and old enough now to not need to play that game anymore. I get away once a year to the Lakes with a very trusted friend. I feel lucky I have a job I really enjoy after many years. I do still wonder though what my place is in the world and what's my role in it that I should be so comfy with what I've ended up with. 

  • When a lot younger I struggled with expectations of youth and old enough now to not need to play that game anymore

    And "here, here" to that, too!

    If I could turn the clock back, I wouldn't have pressured myself half as much to try conforming with the social expectations of my peers. Particularly during my student years, not feeling able to "keep up" with everyone else had a devastating impact on my mental health, and I made the bad mistake of thinking that alcohol was "magic social potion", which left me with a nasty drink problem for much of my twenties. I'm pretty sure that I had the academic abilities to have passed my degree if I had been able to concentrate on the work; but in the end, I dropped out because I could no longer stand the feeling of being trapped in a bubble, watching all the people around me having a good time with no idea how they managed to do it, or even what it was that they were enjoying so much.

    I am astonished to this day that the regular melt-downs, shut-downs, and running off into the night ill-equipped for sleeping under a bush in the middle of nowhere didn't get me arrested, nor raised any red flags with university health-centre staff (I was literally sent away with a prescription for Milk of Magnesia for my achy tummy when friends dragged me to the health centre due to their worries about the heavy drinking).

    All things in moderation for me these days - and I accept that when it comes to socialising, my idea of "moderate" is very different to most of the other people that I know. I'm fortunate that I have a small band of loyal friends (some of them first met at university) who understand this and don't pile on the pressure. They've learned to accept that when I don't go out, it's not a social snub, it's just that I'm really not able to sometimes.

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  • When a lot younger I struggled with expectations of youth and old enough now to not need to play that game anymore

    And "here, here" to that, too!

    If I could turn the clock back, I wouldn't have pressured myself half as much to try conforming with the social expectations of my peers. Particularly during my student years, not feeling able to "keep up" with everyone else had a devastating impact on my mental health, and I made the bad mistake of thinking that alcohol was "magic social potion", which left me with a nasty drink problem for much of my twenties. I'm pretty sure that I had the academic abilities to have passed my degree if I had been able to concentrate on the work; but in the end, I dropped out because I could no longer stand the feeling of being trapped in a bubble, watching all the people around me having a good time with no idea how they managed to do it, or even what it was that they were enjoying so much.

    I am astonished to this day that the regular melt-downs, shut-downs, and running off into the night ill-equipped for sleeping under a bush in the middle of nowhere didn't get me arrested, nor raised any red flags with university health-centre staff (I was literally sent away with a prescription for Milk of Magnesia for my achy tummy when friends dragged me to the health centre due to their worries about the heavy drinking).

    All things in moderation for me these days - and I accept that when it comes to socialising, my idea of "moderate" is very different to most of the other people that I know. I'm fortunate that I have a small band of loyal friends (some of them first met at university) who understand this and don't pile on the pressure. They've learned to accept that when I don't go out, it's not a social snub, it's just that I'm really not able to sometimes.

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