Fellow hermits unite!

Heh, silly topic heading aside, any other autistic folk finding themselves falling into the old grouping of would-be hermits? I'd say we're a bit of a sub group, more leaning towards the mid to high functional. I expressed in a previous thread how my need to have every route of a conversation, every answer, possibility and the likes has effectively closed off the vast majority of public outings, that I find myself confined to my home. In the past I'd argue this would have been life destroying, but given this age of technology, I've finally been able to jump beyond the constraints that come with physical social interaction and sublimate it with forums and so on.

Don't get me wrong, I imagine in the long term this will induce negative issues, but in our lives we're always in a uphill battle, fighting for the lesser of two or many more evils in finding ways to cope with our own oddities that came with out silly minds. But hey, lets make the most of it while we can! 

  • When a lot younger I struggled with expectations of youth and old enough now to not need to play that game anymore

    And "here, here" to that, too!

    If I could turn the clock back, I wouldn't have pressured myself half as much to try conforming with the social expectations of my peers. Particularly during my student years, not feeling able to "keep up" with everyone else had a devastating impact on my mental health, and I made the bad mistake of thinking that alcohol was "magic social potion", which left me with a nasty drink problem for much of my twenties. I'm pretty sure that I had the academic abilities to have passed my degree if I had been able to concentrate on the work; but in the end, I dropped out because I could no longer stand the feeling of being trapped in a bubble, watching all the people around me having a good time with no idea how they managed to do it, or even what it was that they were enjoying so much.

    I am astonished to this day that the regular melt-downs, shut-downs, and running off into the night ill-equipped for sleeping under a bush in the middle of nowhere didn't get me arrested, nor raised any red flags with university health-centre staff (I was literally sent away with a prescription for Milk of Magnesia for my achy tummy when friends dragged me to the health centre due to their worries about the heavy drinking).

    All things in moderation for me these days - and I accept that when it comes to socialising, my idea of "moderate" is very different to most of the other people that I know. I'm fortunate that I have a small band of loyal friends (some of them first met at university) who understand this and don't pile on the pressure. They've learned to accept that when I don't go out, it's not a social snub, it's just that I'm really not able to sometimes.

  • Yes. Here here. I've been lucky to build my life at home over many years with all my interests. When a lot younger I struggled with expectations of youth and old enough now to not need to play that game anymore. I get away once a year to the Lakes with a very trusted friend. I feel lucky I have a job I really enjoy after many years. I do still wonder though what my place is in the world and what's my role in it that I should be so comfy with what I've ended up with. 

  • I gave up trying to meet like minded people nearly three years ago now and I haven't really regretted it. I can easily go for weeks on end without speaking to anyone. I've found that it's not worth the effort when it ultimately leads to disappointment or frustration or worse. My parents used to call me a hermit when I was growing up, at least now I know why I was like that

  • Since I stopped fighting my urge to retreat I have felt more healthy... Thank goodness for technology and the internet. I think balance is important as I still seek connections but now try to meet in quieter places and use messaging in between. I wonder if in the future we'll be able to augment our senses to the point where we can protect our vision and hearing enough to go anywhere for a long period of time? I'm thinking individually tailored contact lenses and hearing aids... I'd also like some sort of tech that slows down speech and displays the words, maybe on something like Google Glass!

  • I've been the extremely reclusive type all my life. When dealing with the outside world gets a bit much, I often fantasise about really heading for the hills and finding myself a cave somewhere to hole up in (quite possibly why I took to caving as a hobby years ago; and hence my username).

    One thing which has always mystified me is why this is deemed to be acceptable if one is doing it for religious contemplation, yet the secular equivalent is so frowned upon. No medieval mythological tale would be complete without a long-bearded cave-dwelling hermit seer to provide the hero with the wisdom necessary to complete their quest. I certainly don't claim that my reclusiveness has resulted in profound wisdom, but I simply don't see why gregariousness is presumed to be the only acceptable mode of living. I do wonder how many of the hermits, ascetics, and anchorites of old were really so devoted to their religious dogmas, or whether many were really just aspies who wanted to get away from civilisation and saw that a different kind of "masking" might allow them the opportunity!

  • I enjoy being with others but prefer my own company.

    I attend social events, but not too long.

  • On a rare occasion of meeting other local expats - a funeral for one who had died living rough on the streets because he had lost his passport - I was told by one guy that in all his years in the same town he had never seen me before. So to kind of make light of it and sweep things under the carpet a bit, I told him rather jokingly that it was because I was the local recluse. That excuse has its advantages. Hash House Harriers (google it if you don't know) is about as racy as the expat social scene ever gets here. Not my scene at all! Why run when you can walk and see so much more interesting stuff.

  • Last week's photos.

    Waitrose 

    Asda

    Morrisson's 

    Bodycare 

    When the zombie virus strikes for real, I will be out there photographing the dead bodies lying, rotting in the streets.

  • Being alone is my natural state. 

    Last week, my only human contact was a two hour group session at the recovery college,  on how to cope with panic.

    I can spend a week or two without speaking to others.

    A weekend in bed with a good book, apart from cooking in kitchen & the little boys room, is heaven.

    If the zombie virus strikes, I am well prepared for quarantine.

    I've done my panic shopping.  

    • 27 rolls of toilet paper 
    • 13 bars of soap
    • 2 large hand sanitisers
    • 6 cartons of cereals 
    • Rice, noodles, 
    • 10 packets of flavored noodles
    • 10 packets of flavored pasta
    • 10 packets of dried soup
    • 6 cans of meat.

    I'm panicking, I've got nothing, I need to do more shopping.

    Pics from last week's shopping will follow.