When is it appropriate to hug someone?

Do you think then that someone who hugged me first thing when we met up sees me as a friend/cares about me?

Yeah, asking permission and/or signalling a hug is imminent is very important... and the arms thing - I accidentally touched a co-worker's bum during a 'goodbye hug' on her last day (she was wearing a backpack and I couldn't hug including the pack and if I'd gone up my hands would have been round her neck... down seemed the only option... FAIL!)

I have previously been adamant that I WOULDN'T be doing a goodbye-hug but then the peer-pressure was too much and I caved.

Luckily she thought it was hilarious and was laughing so much on the train on her way home that she had to pretend to be on her phone so that she didn't look like a complete loon...

I'm definitely not a hugger, and a lot of my friends know that so don't even go there. One does like to hug, but now I know she will, I'm prepared for it. My boss also is a hugger, but he usually does say "can I have a hug" to give warning. I strangely don't actually mind it from him.

Hugs that take me by surprise are most disconcerting. I never seem to know what ot do with my arms. Or my head. Or any other part of my body come to think of it.

Oh absolutely! Also a friend of mine recently bought up the topic of how the ‘to hug or not to hug’ issue becomes even more convoluted when she visits her relatives in France. As there is generally more social pressure to hug BUT yet even more unspoken social rules about when/who/where needs hugging. Autistic nightmare!!!

Personally I tend to only do it when I can read the other person is going to do it to me

There's a whole sub-thread possible about how social-touching 'rules' enforced on children "Give Aunty/Uncle Jo a kiss..." teaches them that they don't have agency over their own bodies and is probably part of the reason that people (women particularly) feel they have to 'allow' a certain level of unwanted touching.

Another reason why the world would be a lot better if we really were all "...a bit autistic..." - there'd be clear rules and the default would be 'no touching'...

It's amazing how offended/upset friends were when (post diagnosis) I started telling them I'd prefer not to hug/kiss on arrival/departure etc.

I think they hug because they think they are expected to - look at the rise of 'man-hugging' - this NEVER happened in the UK - it's an American import from the last 10 years or so - now it's everywhere - especially on tv.

A nod or wave from the other side of the room should be sufficient..  

Do you think that neurotypicals hug more often? Do neurotupicals see hugging someone as equally affectionate?

Only my wife... way too intimate to do with anyone else.

I guess if I had kids I'd probably be OK with them cuddling me...

Much happier with a firm handshake at arm's length, or even better no contact

Don't even get me started on the horrors of 'social kissing'!!!

Wife & daughter - yes

Someone in extreme distress - maybe - uncomfortably - but only if they asked - and it wasn't going to be too weird.

Anyone else - I'd really rather not.

Ah thanks. Would you cuddle anyone, or would you have to care about them to do so? 

Happily - my wife, my brother, my Mum & Dad

Slightly grudgingly - close friends (because I know if I don't they'd be a bit offended)

Only if I really can't not do it - anyone else

Yes, it's a sign of deep friendship/affection