Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey,
My son is 4, he has ASD.
My friends all obviously know about my sons condition and his difficulties - primarily his speech, with his social interaction being not far behind.
When I get together with my closest friend, who has a son of a similar age to my little one, we naturally discuss our boys. But my friend insists on telling me all about the lengthly conversations she has with her son and about his large circle of friends, and how his friends squabble over who gets to sit next to him at school, etc. This really upsets me (not that I let it show to my friend), as I can't help but think about how I may never be able to have a conversation with my son, how he has such few friends .
Am I over reacting or is my friend being slightly insensitive??
I get how you feel . Naturally worrying and wondering about what the future holds as well as dealing with the day to day. We hopefully get comfort , support and advice when we meet up with friends / family . All being well being close friends you are able to tentatively bring up that its making you feel a bit emotional when you have these exchanges - I think she'll understand / feel mortified that you've been feeling upset. If you've only just received the diagnosis you need TIME to get your head round this massive news. When our superstar was diagnosed in August we made conscious decision to give ourselves time .... Time to come to terms . It might sound dramatic to some, afterall he's fighting fit, happy and thriving in so many ways. Our son will be 3 in December - he isn't talking either and thinking back to our first born it was the only thing parents ( mums ) could talk about .... What they've said / what they've achieved / how amazing they are / how clever ....... Etc etc
Having had 3 children now my worries / thoughts on their development rates has chilled out immensely - and would like to think I wasn't ever neurotic to begin with ! our first born didn't start saying proper words til well after his 2nd birthday so when our next son seemingly appeared to be following the same pattern we were probably going to let him be... A friend suggested we get his hearing checked for glue ear at the beginning of the year and from there we had a progressive 6 months of checks tests and appointments leading to this diagnosis .
Unless you've been through something like this its going to be hard to know how it feels. Your friend will do her best, I'm sure, just as no doubt she'll need to have a moan or groan about her little one to offload on you - you can be there to comfort her
Im also told now that everyone is a little bit on the spectrum in some way shape or form!!! I'm a bit of a crumb freak - hate seeing them on the kitchen surfaces and floors ! I also think I walk on my tip toes a bit too much !
..... it's perfectly natural and normal to feel what you've felt. You're human and a caring mum and this is raw and emotional. There's nothing more powerful than the love or worry for our kids - so don't feel bad for feeling these emotions - think its all part of the journey x