Feeling frequently interrupted

Ok so this is very much a case of wanting to get something off my chest and to see if this is at all relatable for others especially as I am yet to get an official diagnosis (I am on the waiting list) 

I frequently find myself feeling disturbed and interrupted not just by other people but also sensory stimulation such as noise and smells. I sometimes like to zone out a little, maybe even imagine scenarios or conversations in my head. In short I enjoy daydreaming. I have always felt like doing so allows me to have my own perspective on the world around me. 

The problem of course is that life in general doesn't always allow it. If I am walking down the road in my own bubble and so much as a car comes past, or someone wearing perfume my train of thought can be completely ruined and I feel like I have to start again. 

How does one find a way to live like this? 

Parents
  • I find that the more stressful life is, the more I retreat into my fantasy version of life. I didn't realise that other people did this. I mostly do it lying on my bed but also walking or on public transport. It can be very jarring to be interrupted, especially by people wanting to talk.

    I'm aware now that the more I do it, the more depressed I get so I am starting to notice and force myself to stop if I'm spending more time in my head than in the world.

    Reading helps me as I guess it's similar in that I'm living a different life but via the book, but without the negative side effect of now having a fantasy version of my life where everything is better.

  • I really relate to this - during one of the worst times of my life, I genuinely had a fantasy character that would "follow me around" (not a hallucination - I knew they weren't there, but I imagined they were). I thought it was reassuring, but I found I was just missing out on more, spending more time alone, and feeling depressed that life wasn't as simple as it was in my fantasy world.

    Reading definitely helps. I've also tried creative writing as an outlet and found that really helps.

Reply
  • I really relate to this - during one of the worst times of my life, I genuinely had a fantasy character that would "follow me around" (not a hallucination - I knew they weren't there, but I imagined they were). I thought it was reassuring, but I found I was just missing out on more, spending more time alone, and feeling depressed that life wasn't as simple as it was in my fantasy world.

    Reading definitely helps. I've also tried creative writing as an outlet and found that really helps.

Children
  • It's all really interesting. You were clearly ahead of the scientists on this one Slight smile

  • I've managed this occasionally. I get a lot of deja vu, occasionally it happens when something in a real life converstion reminds me of something I imagined and I can use my unintentionally pre-prepared response. It does feel like a small sucess!

  • Ain't the populist zero hours contract world wonderful!?. ;-) It is a pity I didn't just drop completely out of it years ago. It would have been so much more personally productive. Instead, I rose to the Thatcherite dead-end challenge. What a waste!

  • She was actually the boss because her job was no longer funded so they moved her to the only available position despite having none of the skills for it. She barely knew how to turn on a computer! I think that's what wound me up the most!

  • Good way to be! I'd say. In my case, the swearing sometimes happened in full public. That, I reckon, was my version of the meltdown. I've been moving away from it for years, but it flares up out of the blue occasionally. I would say that  I have been getting out of that habit, through what I call 'day-dreaming rehearsal', for decades; long before I ever read about such things as self-hypnosis and auto suggestion. It seems the conscious and subconscious are capable of figuring out how to cooperate. But also worth noting that my pursuance of this approach took me even further into the realms of social invisibility.

  • She was the boss because she had the gift of the gab. And she definitely didn't stick to the script either. I know I can't really compete with a fast stand-up comedian, but I also know that my rather slow-track tortoise humour can catch up with the fast-talking hare.

  • It's already been done by 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy'. Google it if you don't already know it, and you will find it was an immensely popular book, radio series & TV series. And it is often quoted on this forum too.

    Well, yes, there is perhaps some point in seeking to ground one's own daydreams. I can see in my own experience how that might well have helped me. And it would be hard to deny that life can benefit from the spirit of compromise. I note some comments here have indicated that rehearsal doesn't equate with automatic 'success', but it is bound to take time. And you might argue that it has taken me 6 decades to work that out.

  • Very true! I hate that so much... although imagining myself swearing at ignorant people can sometimes be satisfying Slight smile

  • I think this is where people say "everyone does that" but maybe don't realise quite how often and for how long! I had a boss I couldn't stand once (totally incompetent) and we would frequently come to blows. Every single time I spoke to her I would run the conversation over and over thinking how I could have better responded. Or just imagine swearing at her...

  • Haha, I hate it when they don't stick to the script - so rude. Also, I often have a conversation and then re-script it in my head (e.g. "I should have said X"). Very annoying.

  • Marvin the Paranoid Android sounds like a good character for a children's book Slight smile A lot of people don't really get my humour either. As long as you're amusing yourself, it's all good Slight smile

    Maybe this is where I'm going wrong... I'm not having the right daydreams!

  • I wish my daydreaming would help me in actual conversation! I've been known to 'rehearse' conversations multiple times and then I go blank in real life. And of course real people never stick to the script! GrinGrin

  • Many hypnotherapists believe there is a strong case for one day-dreaming future success. It could be seen as auto-suggestion in the form of day-dreams in which one rehearses one's future 'success'. Apparently, the subconscious is quite capable of converting even rudimentary auto-suggestions into positive actions. I can see that it sometimes works for me, since I find myself saying things to people that have been envisaged in day-dreaming, and with some apparent 'success'. Perhaps as much success as one can realistically expect in an eternally compromised world! ;-)

  • I have considered it, but with my Marvin the Paranoid Android tendency, I would almost certainly bore everyone to death. But that does at least remind me that humour would be very necessary.  Unfortunately, my version of humour would probably also bore the pants off most folks. But it amuses me, and so perhaps that is enough. :-)

  • Thanks for sharing - it's really interesting to hear another perspective on this. I honestly used to think that I was the only person who daydreamed to that extent. 

    I often had my own form of IEs in my fantasy worlds (in some of my daydreams, I'd find myself in horrible situations that I had to get myself out of, often with the help of some friendly IFs). Maybe it was just a way of coping - envisioning myself overcoming challenges that were worse than the ones I was facing day-to-day.

    It is all really interesting - we could write a book about this stuff Slight smile

  • Thanks for giving me your version of the 'imaginary friend' thing (IF hereafter). I think it helped me to put my own version into perspective.

    From what you two are saying here, not all IFs exactly fit into the category of someone you can almost envisage walking around, talking to you, giving sound advice and receiving it in turn. I have been known to think that I've never had such an IF. But the funny thing is that I have long had this thing where my 'friends' are strange combinations of well-known local organisations and actual (older) people, all working together and being considerably more friendly and sensible than ever in real life; to make up for I suppose for a distinct lack of real friends of my own age. (I usually had mainly older acquaintances when I was young.[I'm now left slightly wondering just how genuine some of them ever really were]) But the IFs were all pretty much in my daydreams, rather than something bordering on a hallucination. And all the time I was quite aware that these IFs had no basis in anyone's version of reality. And it has continued to occur through my whole life, but perhaps has sometimes given me a false impression of the motives of some real people. And I think it is still quite active, despite self-ID and diagnosis. It is perhaps somewhat harmless; even though I'm now also beginning to think I might have 'imaginary enemies' (IEs).

    I have noted that there are people who I used to count as enemies, who I no longer seem to bother me much. But perhaps that is because I now suspect that at least some of them have had to put up with similar life indignities to myself. But there are also arising IEs, And I note that I'm not alone in identifying such an 'enemy'. A considerable number of both ND and NT people seem to be very aware right now of numerous ongoing global threats. And rightly so, say I with my very usual streak of paranoia. (I have also been known to opine that most paranoia is the result of very real threat! Plenty of that about! ;-)

    So perhaps the IFs and IEs were previously just figments of my day-dreaming, even though they were never something I totally believed in. But as life has gone on, some of the IFs and IEs have gradually morphed into slightly more solid perceived versions of reality.

    As with a lot of the various listed manifestations of the 'spectrum', it has only recently begun to dawn on me how those supposed deficits match up with 'items' in my own very long and torrid experience. Fortunately, I still seem able to see the interesting and amusing side of my perceived situation. My degree of comfort with my own mind seems thus somewhat improved, but the degree of conflict with outside forces seems about the same. It would be hard for almost anyone to really say that the World is showing any real signs of improvement!

  • My imaginary friends used to be from TV programmes/films too! I know what you mean - it makes you feel better in the short-term but doesn't help in the long-term.

  • I quite often have an "imaginary friend"! Usually somebody from TV. I guess because sometimes I get lonely and having a friend who says exactly what you want them to say is much easier...but probably not great for the mental health.