Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm very frustrated because I got my diagnosis last June and felt like it made sense but my mum has two autistic boys. She spent months getting their diagnosis, the boys were asked so much in that time about there childhood anf growibg up, whereas I went to 2 sessions that were 2 hours each long and got my diagnosis after the second one (same questions about childhood but I didnt have any physical activities to do just talking during my assessment). when I got my diagnosis my mum keeps telling me I'm not autistic and have been missdiagnosed it's really stressing me out because I cannot stop thinking am I autistic or am I not because I don't know if to go forward with it and think ok I get things wrong sometimes because I'm autistic or think actually something else is wrong with me that I don't know and I need to be rediagnosed because my mum said I never showed any of the signs when I was growing up as a kid I don't know what to do right now but I'm really stressed and cannot turn my brain off thinking about this. My mum's opinion is very important to me because she's my mum she's known me since birth so surely my mum is right?
Either way its keeping me awake and its hurting my brain not to have a 100% yes or no answer, I hate this so much, im so tired of thinking, my mum thinks I should be diagnosed with something like extreme anxiety as I get very stressed easily and I've recently recovered from a period of moderate depression.
Hi Cat, sorry to read what you are going through, yes it is a head wreck for sure feeling in the middle of this. Hey, a diagnosis can be helpful for sure; but what is more important is the realtionship with your mum; try talking to her about what this is doing to you, and say that it kind of does help to have this diagnosis, and it would help more if she could go along with it, maybe just for a while, to see how this unfolds, she may be right, or the professional maybe right, but for now could she roll with things for you as this is what you need and what you feel would help. Good luck with it x
Thank you for the advice :) made an appointment for the doctors to get a second opinion told me mum and she said to cancel it and that she tried to explain to me she's saying that she didn't say I was not autistic she was saying she doesn't think I'm autistic but it's only her opinion because she's only able to compare me to the two boys but she seems to start accepting that girls are different it was quite a frustrating conversation cos once again I seem to have misinterpreted what someone is saying which I struggle with a lot). She has said that I was a good kid apart from normal kid tantrums I did have friends up until High School I seemed like a normal kid so that makes me wonder. But i do misjudge the work place communication alot.
Thank you for all your advice it's really good
Cat stated:
made an appointment for the doctors to get a second opinion told me mum and she said to cancel it and that she tried to explain to me she's saying that she didn't say I was not autistic she was saying she doesn't think I'm autistic but it's only her opinion because she's only able to compare me to the two boys but she seems to start accepting that girls are different it was quite a frustrating conversation cos once again I seem to have misinterpreted what someone is saying which I struggle with a lot). She has said that I was a good kid apart from normal kid tantrums I did have friends up until High School I seemed like a normal kid so that makes me wonder. But i do misjudge the work place communication alot.
One thing to remember is that the feminine form of autism involves a greater ability to mask or social camouflage ~ i.e. fit into the social background, whereas the masculine form of autism involves being more obvious or less able to mask or social camouflage.
Alot of females on the spectrum tend to blend in more during the primary education years and thereafter to some extent, because girls are more group oriented by nature ~ for child delivering and rearing at the most basic physiological level.
Here are some links on late diagnosis and female autism that might prove useful perhaps in reassuring you and enlightening your mother and others even perhaps:
https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/costs-camouflaging-autism/
https://researchautism.org/the-autism-dilemma-for-women-diagnosis/
https://www.jenniferotooleauthor.com/autisminheels
https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/
I'd trust your diagnosis and agree that your mum's apparent doubt is probably more about her trying to protect her self image as 'good parent' (which I am sure she probably has been anyway).
The female presentation of ASC and how it differs to the male presentation has only been researched in the past 10 years or so.
The misunderstandings that you experience in conversation would be classed as indicators of ASC.