Published on 12, July, 2020
So I recently stumbled across this article that really resonated with me - https://aeon.co/essays/the-autistic-view-of-the-world-is-not-the-neurotypical-cliche
It describes to negative connotations and stereotypes associated with autism and covers controversial areas, such as how autistic people lack empathy, are unable to love etc.
The scope of the article highlights how autistic people are observed and judged by neurotypicals and explains how their perceptions and prejudices are based on their own perspectives and experiences.
This may sound harsh and divisive at first, but there is a valid point throughout that due to our minority status, we rarely have a voice to explains ourselves and although I confess I could never fully understand something from a neurotypical perspective, at the same time I wouldn't expect a neurotypical to fully understand something from a neurodiverse perspective either.
What is depressing for me, is that despite that insight into each other worlds, so to speak, clearly lacking on some parts, it is the autistic person who us at fault and not a problem shared by both parties.
I shared this article with my partner and his response was, when are you going to accept life is unfair and you just have to get on with it. Of course he wants to crack on with things because it doesn't affect him! I gave the example of how it would appear should you swap the autistic person with someone who is homosexual or black - he didn't think the same thing applied and so this is why this article is so relevant for out times.
I don't want a NT and ND division, so how do we come to understand each other better?
Who is it that doesn’t understand you and who don’t you understand? And what is this division you talk about?
We come to understand each other better by talking and listening to each other, don’t we? At least that’s how I do it. I’m daily talking to people about my autism and people are always delighted to learn more.
I couldn’t understand most of the article, I’m not quite sure what it was trying to say so I’m probably not the best person to comment but it sounded like a load of drivel to me, like someone complaining and trying to fill space to promote their book.
I'm not usually very good at reading these kinds of articles myself, but I have to say that I found this to be one of the most lucid and cogent that I've read on the subject of autism, both as it is often misrepresented in the popular media (exaggerations or misconceptions based on neurotypical understanding) and in terms of how our own voices are often drowned out or passed over whenever we make attempts at explanation. Yes, you are right that we come to understand each other better by talking and listening, but the conversation often feels like it is only one way. So I will try to explain to somebody that yes, indeed everyone does suffer with anxiety from time to time, but autistic anxiety is of a completely different variety and can be caused by things that most people would regard as trivial or inconsequential. This has long been established within the scientific community, with research including brain scans and other kinds of biochemical monitors. Most often, I find that people still cannot accept the degrees of variation. I tell lots of people I'm autistic, at which I often receive comments that demonstrate varying degrees of either indifference or incredulity, or perhaps some mild curiosity - as one might be curious about seeing someone in the street with learning disabilities. Again, this is most likely because of misrepresentations that people have accepted from films they've seen or books they've read, quite often written by neurotypicals and for a neurotypical audience. The example given of 'To Siri with Love' was a pertinent case in point. I was outraged when I read that book, and even more outraged by the author's assertion that perhaps 'it wasn't written for an autistic audience'. This, it seemed, gave her licence to treat the whole thing as something to be laughed at, and her attitude was both arrogant and patronising, and did a gross disservice to autistic people. If she had written the same about bringing up, say, an adopted black or gay child, there would have been an even bigger outcry about the way she handled the subject. I'm glad you have found that the people you speak to are always delighted to learn more. I've found that quite a few people I've spoken to have been the same. The problem I've usually found, though, is that they are hearing without really listening, so they aren't really learning. It sometimes feels like I'm simply being humoured, or tolerated. I would respectfully suggest that you might want to read the article again and try to suspend your judgements about what the author is attempting to convey through it, because she does actually speak a lot of very good sense. She addresses many of the most relevant issues about 'communication deficit', which is something that most autistic people that I know personally say is their biggest challenge. It also appears to be an issue that arises an awful lot on the threads on these forums, or so I've observed during my short time here. I find none of it surprising.