I don't like looking at myself in a mirror.
The person who looks back at me is a stranger to myself. He seems remote, distant not like the person who is within me.
And together with this is 'what I look like'. I don't have to look at myself, so in a way I am not bothered as to what I look like. I have just had to have a new pair of spectacles as my previous ones were getting more and more difficult to see through, and were held together with tape with the lenses constantly dropping out. But I didn't have to look at myself, so I was not concerned about this as it was the misfortune of others to see me. I didn't see myself.
I have today had my haircut for the first time in a year. It was getting very long, and had begun to irritate me by blowing over my face and eyes. But I didn't have to look at myself so I didn't bother that it must have looked very untidy. It has now gone from 'hippy 1960's' to 'respectable'. But I still don't have to look at myself.
I don't like it when my facial hair gets too long. But I don't like shaving either. I won't use a mirror when shaving. My skin is very sensitive to a razor blade and I always cut myself so it has to be an electric razor. So I go from looking like I 'need a shave' to shaved look. But once again, I don't look at myself. The only driving force for it is that I begin to feel uncomfortable as I don't like the feel of my facial hair.
I must say that I do like the 'feeling' when I have just had my hair cut, and am clean shaved. But that isn't the motivation. The motivation is purely my hair on my head or face getting so long as to feel uncomfortable. And in the case of spectacles reaching the end of their natural life. And I still won't look in a mirror!
I would be interested to know if this is just peculiar to me, or whether others have similar motivations.
