Think I'm autistic but scared to talk about it - advice?

Hi everyone Slight smile

I'm a newbie on this website, as it only recently dawned on me that I may be on the autism spectrum. I've known from a very young age that I'm not like other people. I was definitely a weird kid, but it wasn't until I watched a video online of a woman talking about her autism as a child that I considered the fact that I may have had an underlying condition all this time, as I related to pretty much everything that she talked about. I've usually blamed social anxiety and maybe depression for the way in which I act, talk, form relationships and observe the world around me, but since watching the video I've done a lot of research into female autism and have taken numerous online tests which have all suggested I may be on the spectrum. 

I tick most boxes when it comes to social skills, masking, emotional sensitivity, having vivid fantasies, having specific interests, copying other people's traits, selective mutism and social isolation. I've also noticed how a lot of the things I did as a kid were possibly traits of autism, such as wanting to focus only on my interests around other children without realising that I was being quite domineering, and having a very passionate obsession with dolls (which I only got over when I was 13). 

I'm desperate to bring this up to someone, however I'm terrified that no one will take me seriously - especially my family. If the possibility of me being autistic has never occurred to my family, then maybe there is truly nothing wrong and I'm simply overreacting. This would be upsetting, to say the least, because I desperately want to have an answer. I think I should also note that I'm due to be going to university this year, and I'm even more terrified of not being able to cope with such a huge change in environment. If I can talk to someone about this issue, then there's a chance that I can get a diagnosis before I go to university and maybe have support that I've never had before (school was awful because of how misunderstood I was). 

I was hoping that maybe people on here would have some advice? Maybe people who have been through similar experiences of believing they're autistic but not knowing how to tell those closest to them? Or struggling to have their autism recognised by others? In the end, it could turn out that I'm not on the autism spectrum at all, which honestly would be disappointing because I'm adamant I have it and so many things in my life would actually make sense. But even if I don't, I just want to be able to express my thoughts and feelings about this issue without fear of being judged. 

Thanks Slight smile

Parents
  • Hi 

    Reading your post rings true for me too. I’m 51 and lie, you only just dawning on me that maybe I’m autistic with similar history. 

    I think society is so much better at understanding in recent years and I too suspect I may not discuss with my parents as I’m unsure what they’ll think ? I have coped til now and now sure if it will make an ounce of difference to the relationship, which is good by the way.

    A diagnosis for me would help me come to terms with my behaviours and actions and “shame” if you will at what I feel was truly odd behaviour as a child.  having said that, if people truly love you and care about you and your feelings I would hope they would listen and understand.

    I awaiting a private referral through work, which I’m really humbled by their support. Please let me know how you get on. 

Reply
  • Hi 

    Reading your post rings true for me too. I’m 51 and lie, you only just dawning on me that maybe I’m autistic with similar history. 

    I think society is so much better at understanding in recent years and I too suspect I may not discuss with my parents as I’m unsure what they’ll think ? I have coped til now and now sure if it will make an ounce of difference to the relationship, which is good by the way.

    A diagnosis for me would help me come to terms with my behaviours and actions and “shame” if you will at what I feel was truly odd behaviour as a child.  having said that, if people truly love you and care about you and your feelings I would hope they would listen and understand.

    I awaiting a private referral through work, which I’m really humbled by their support. Please let me know how you get on. 

Children
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