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Think I'm autistic but scared to talk about it - advice?

kcat10

Hi everyone Slight smile

I'm a newbie on this website, as it only recently dawned on me that I may be on the autism spectrum. I've known from a very young age that I'm not like other people. I was definitely a weird kid, but it wasn't until I watched a video online of a woman talking about her autism as a child that I considered the fact that I may have had an underlying condition all this time, as I related to pretty much everything that she talked about. I've usually blamed social anxiety and maybe depression for the way in which I act, talk, form relationships and observe the world around me, but since watching the video I've done a lot of research into female autism and have taken numerous online tests which have all suggested I may be on the spectrum. 

I tick most boxes when it comes to social skills, masking, emotional sensitivity, having vivid fantasies, having specific interests, copying other people's traits, selective mutism and social isolation. I've also noticed how a lot of the things I did as a kid were possibly traits of autism, such as wanting to focus only on my interests around other children without realising that I was being quite domineering, and having a very passionate obsession with dolls (which I only got over when I was 13). 

I'm desperate to bring this up to someone, however I'm terrified that no one will take me seriously - especially my family. If the possibility of me being autistic has never occurred to my family, then maybe there is truly nothing wrong and I'm simply overreacting. This would be upsetting, to say the least, because I desperately want to have an answer. I think I should also note that I'm due to be going to university this year, and I'm even more terrified of not being able to cope with such a huge change in environment. If I can talk to someone about this issue, then there's a chance that I can get a diagnosis before I go to university and maybe have support that I've never had before (school was awful because of how misunderstood I was). 

I was hoping that maybe people on here would have some advice? Maybe people who have been through similar experiences of believing they're autistic but not knowing how to tell those closest to them? Or struggling to have their autism recognised by others? In the end, it could turn out that I'm not on the autism spectrum at all, which honestly would be disappointing because I'm adamant I have it and so many things in my life would actually make sense. But even if I don't, I just want to be able to express my thoughts and feelings about this issue without fear of being judged. 

Thanks Slight smile

Parents

  • Things have certainly changed on recent years. There is a plethora of books on autism around, for example. Articles are always appearing in magazines about it. From that point of view, this must be a good time to 'come out' as being autistic!

    Life at university can be tough of you don't know what you are up against, so it is probably good to get a diagnosis of you can, though I have heard it can be difficult. I got a lot of flak for avoiding eye contact for example and for being strange and aloof, but the worst was getting obsessed with too much navel gazing and dangerous forms of introspection with certain kinds of esoterica, which I wish I had never wasted so time over now. There are individuals who love the chance to try on a few mind games over that if there are weaknesses they can exploit. 

    I never got diagnosed as an adult, it would be difficult now as I don't live in the UK, though I did once catch sight inadvertently of my medical notes. There were diagnoses being mooted, but back in the day it was seen as craziness. Great! 

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  • Things have certainly changed on recent years. There is a plethora of books on autism around, for example. Articles are always appearing in magazines about it. From that point of view, this must be a good time to 'come out' as being autistic!

    Life at university can be tough of you don't know what you are up against, so it is probably good to get a diagnosis of you can, though I have heard it can be difficult. I got a lot of flak for avoiding eye contact for example and for being strange and aloof, but the worst was getting obsessed with too much navel gazing and dangerous forms of introspection with certain kinds of esoterica, which I wish I had never wasted so time over now. There are individuals who love the chance to try on a few mind games over that if there are weaknesses they can exploit. 

    I never got diagnosed as an adult, it would be difficult now as I don't live in the UK, though I did once catch sight inadvertently of my medical notes. There were diagnoses being mooted, but back in the day it was seen as craziness. Great! 

Children
  • in reply to nexus9

    You are so right nexus9. I hated uni because of the verbal bullying and found it so much easier to study with the OU. Even with that I avoided tutorials as much as possible as I'd been subjected to bullying by one individual at the obligatory first year Summer School. By the way that was at UEA kcat10 - I absolutely loved the architecture and would wander around on my own taking photographs.

    I can't stress enough how important it is to get your diagnosis now. I wish for me it was 50 years ago and I understood what I now know. I could possibly have coped better with shutdowns and meltdowns and not spend my days stimming and having a soft toy hedgehog with at all times

    I'm sure we'll all be rooting for you. x