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Think I'm autistic but scared to talk about it - advice?

kcat10

Hi everyone Slight smile

I'm a newbie on this website, as it only recently dawned on me that I may be on the autism spectrum. I've known from a very young age that I'm not like other people. I was definitely a weird kid, but it wasn't until I watched a video online of a woman talking about her autism as a child that I considered the fact that I may have had an underlying condition all this time, as I related to pretty much everything that she talked about. I've usually blamed social anxiety and maybe depression for the way in which I act, talk, form relationships and observe the world around me, but since watching the video I've done a lot of research into female autism and have taken numerous online tests which have all suggested I may be on the spectrum. 

I tick most boxes when it comes to social skills, masking, emotional sensitivity, having vivid fantasies, having specific interests, copying other people's traits, selective mutism and social isolation. I've also noticed how a lot of the things I did as a kid were possibly traits of autism, such as wanting to focus only on my interests around other children without realising that I was being quite domineering, and having a very passionate obsession with dolls (which I only got over when I was 13). 

I'm desperate to bring this up to someone, however I'm terrified that no one will take me seriously - especially my family. If the possibility of me being autistic has never occurred to my family, then maybe there is truly nothing wrong and I'm simply overreacting. This would be upsetting, to say the least, because I desperately want to have an answer. I think I should also note that I'm due to be going to university this year, and I'm even more terrified of not being able to cope with such a huge change in environment. If I can talk to someone about this issue, then there's a chance that I can get a diagnosis before I go to university and maybe have support that I've never had before (school was awful because of how misunderstood I was). 

I was hoping that maybe people on here would have some advice? Maybe people who have been through similar experiences of believing they're autistic but not knowing how to tell those closest to them? Or struggling to have their autism recognised by others? In the end, it could turn out that I'm not on the autism spectrum at all, which honestly would be disappointing because I'm adamant I have it and so many things in my life would actually make sense. But even if I don't, I just want to be able to express my thoughts and feelings about this issue without fear of being judged. 

Thanks Slight smile

Parents

  • You sound a lot like me! I also put everything down to depression and bad experiences at school until I went on an autism training at work, and like you thought ‘ I think that’s me!’ I did struggle to get people to take me seriously at first. My mistake was listening to those people and thinking they might be right though - I finally got an ASD diagnosis last year. My advice too would be to go to your GP with a list of why you think your autistic. Try doing the NAS women and girls module if you need more info. It’s really good.

    Def worth doing now as there will def be support you can access at uni (there ought to be anyway!) do you know where you’re going yet?

  • in reply to Zomted

    I remember sitting there as everything in my head clicked and thinking "Oh wow, this finally makes sense." I hadn't even thought of autism as a reason. 

    I'll check the module out, thanks for recommending it. And I'm hoping to go to the University of East Anglia. I'm aware it's got a fairly good reputation as a uni, but I'm not familiar with the services it offers for students with disorders such as autism. I would have asked when I visited on the open day, but because I was with a friend I didn't bother :/ 

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  • in reply to Zomted

    I remember sitting there as everything in my head clicked and thinking "Oh wow, this finally makes sense." I hadn't even thought of autism as a reason. 

    I'll check the module out, thanks for recommending it. And I'm hoping to go to the University of East Anglia. I'm aware it's got a fairly good reputation as a uni, but I'm not familiar with the services it offers for students with disorders such as autism. I would have asked when I visited on the open day, but because I was with a friend I didn't bother :/ 

Children
  • in reply to kcat10

    If you have a contact name for the department/course you have applied for then phone and talk to them. I am sure they will be happy to help.  It was a great time, very diverse and can help build some life skills.  Just watch Fresher Week as there were lots of games that were played on the new students - I was older so was not that gullible to the 18 year olds, away from home for the first time.

    I went through university and preferred practical and applied engineering together with Computer Systems but after over 20 years am awaiting an adult diagnosis.

    For me, I am not yet diagnosed but so many with experience of the condition have confirmed that I was Autistic once I said something.  As Bookworm said above, discuss it with your GP and do not actually focus on one but mention others (Aspergers, etc) as you never know what diagnosis you will get in time.