Suicide in autism

I know the Maudsley like rest of the NHS is always looking to avoid taking on patients unless they will earn them money or can be dealt with easily. Unfortunately mature adult autism is a bad one as not easy to deal with, not quick and no money unless private referral

I had a referral made to the Maudsley as soon as I got my diagnosis.  It was turned down.  Presumably because I was 56 at the time and it was deemed that as I'd made it that far without support I could probably go on as I was.

I don't understand why some people don't like pets, thats very sad.

he's a smart dog and noted my lack of interest in him.

Not all pets are the same they all have different personalities and you will find that pets are much more 

kinder than people, perhaps you caught him on a bad day.

My daughter's dog stayed with us last week, but I wasn't very interested in him and nice as he is, I think he wasn't very fond of me.

Hi NAS51277,

I haven't had suicidal thoughts in a long time, counselling at the Maudsley Hospital really helped me.

Please do not hurt yourself, forgive yourself its not worth it to dwell on the past like that.

Try talking to a special friend such as a pet about this they give unlimited love and dont judge you. If you dont have a pet how about you adopt one from a shelter? There are plenty of cats and dogs that need shelter. Therefore you would not be lonely anymore and nor would the cat or dog. Its nice when you have someone to share life with...

Yes I am aware of that paper and have been in touch with the authors, but no good ideas for treatment/ prevention

This paper, published in The Lancet in 2014, may be of interest...

Suicidal ideation and suicide plans or attempts in adults with Asperger's syndrome attending a specialist diagnostic clinic: a clinical cohort study

DaveAsperg said:

The mental tolerance of the problems is what I find so difficult as I worry about justice, regrets, shame, complexity, not enjoying myself, my effect on my family, isolation, lack of friends,not using/ enjoying my money.

I can certainly relate to this.  I find the older I get, too (60 soon), the lower the tolerance gets.  I think I'm pretty squared up with life now.  I know my strengths and weaknesses.  I know that there's a Mr Hyde lurking not too far beneath the surface of my Dr Jekyll.  I get enough social contact through work, and working with learning disabilities certainly plays to my strengths and brings out the best in me.  It gives me a lot of personal fulfillment.  I'm not bothered about money.  And those family members who've distanced themselves from me because of my autism are people I'd sooner not have around me, anyway.  I stick with what's positive for the most part.  Where it gets dark is when I start thinking about the 'what might have beens'.  It's ultimately pointless, of course - we can't change the past... but we can do things that affect the future.  A lot of it is out of our hands, maybe, with social and financial circumstances, the need to earn a living, the need to keep some stability there.  But we can still exercise choices, however limited they might seem.  As the old saying goes: 'life can only be understood backwards, but it has to be lived forwards'.  Having said all of that.  We're not robots.  And we don't live in the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.  Stuff lives with us - trauma, abuse, opportunities missed, people hurt, etc.  What BlueRay says about 'acceptance' is right.  We need to be able to put it all into context, forgive ourselves as much as we can, make a positive effort to do better.  Treat life as a learning curve - which, of course, it is. And learn, if not to love ourselves, at least to like ourselves more than we perhaps do.  Love can follow on from that.

I find it hard to forgive myself for a lot of the things I've done.  I find it hard to gain acceptance.  But I'm working on it.

And I still have a desire, however tenuous at times, to see what life has in store for me.  Ultimately, I can't know that unless I wait around and see.  Give it the chance.

Hi Tom

Yes that sounds familiar.

Legal, financial, physical, traumatic, mental health, social factors may each play a part.

The mental tolerance of the problems is what I find so difficult as I worry about justice, regrets, shame, complexity, not enjoying myself, my effect on my family, isolation, lack of friends,not using/ enjoying my money. All seems ridiculous, but very real.

I would love to come up with a good way forwards, to help others

Hi there,

Sorry that you struggle with this, too.  For me, it's less to do with missing out on what is going on around me and more about the constant sense I have of feeling 'outside'.  I've had this throughout life.  Before my diagnosis, I made a couple of attempts.  Since my diagnosis, and the greater understanding it's brought me, I haven't done anything drastic.  But it's something, like with you, that's constantly in my head.  Strange though it may sound, it's almost like it's a reassurance for me - to know it's there as an option, if I ever felt desperate enough.  I sometimes think that anything could tip the balance for me.  If anything happened to my cat, say, or I was forced to give her up for some reason.  If I lost my home.  If my creativity dried up. Those kinds of drastic things. 

It would be worth checking out the information on the site.  You'll also find plenty of information if you look at some of the 'Related' threads listed in the right-hand column.

Keep talking. 

Tom