Sally Anne test

Personally I thought my last paragraph a clever play on words, and in the context of what I had already written, clearly a criticism of those who use such "illustrations" too much as a guide to understanding people on the spectrum, rather than any criticism of you for asking the question.

But I do need to make a further point here. Your reaction is the kind of reaction your daughter is going to have to live with for life.

There's an expression covering people on the spectrum - "its not me that's the problem its everybody else". The perception is both false and true. It is the person on the autistic spectrum that causes the communication and behavioural problem. The reaction of NTs however is often perceived as unnecessarily extreme and unsympathetic.

Because they are not picking up all the information they need, and may well be picking up conflicting information (both in social communication and environment terms), people on the spectrum frequently breach convention. They cannot so readily pick up on convention or expectation in a given situation because it isn't written down somewhere.

Group dynamics in human societies develop from everyone in the group responding to others, including those taking the lead, and by mutual adjustment deciding on the social norms for the group. People on the spectrum cannot do that. So they might react wrongly in terms of the group expectation, or seem rude or insensitive or out of tune. Members of the group will take offence that one member hasn't obeyed the "rules" or respected the feelings of the group.

Frankly group dynamics are a convenience for NTs who need a social context. They aren't essential to life. And because someone has a disability that means they cannot engage successfully in group dynamics shouldn't mean that they aren't successful persons in their own right.

Tragically what happens to people on the spectrum is they come up against their failings in terms of group dynamics all the time. NTs, maybe because its automatic with them, simply do not perceive the difficulties with it that people on the spectrum face.

Parents of people on the spectrum do need to appreciate that their children cannot adapt to group social dynamics. They will always feel left out, be left out, and get hurt by it. Any why should they - because for the most part it is a social convenience, not a proficiency badge that has to be won?

I perceive your reaction to what I said, reiterated in several responses, to reflect your assumption I should understand your social "rules" - I don't, and cannot. You have a daughter who will face just such problems (if the assessment proves so). As I said before, take a step back and see things from her point of view.

Personally I thought my last paragraph a clever play on words, and in the context of what I had already written, clearly a criticism of those who use such "illustrations" too much as a guide to understanding people on the spectrum, rather than any criticism of you for asking the question.

But I do need to make a further point here. Your reaction is the kind of reaction your daughter is going to have to live with for life.

There's an expression covering people on the spectrum - "its not me that's the problem its everybody else". The perception is both false and true. It is the person on the autistic spectrum that causes the communication and behavioural problem. The reaction of NTs however is often perceived as unnecessarily extreme and unsympathetic.

Because they are not picking up all the information they need, and may well be picking up conflicting information (both in social communication and environment terms), people on the spectrum frequently breach convention. They cannot so readily pick up on convention or expectation in a given situation because it isn't written down somewhere.

Group dynamics in human societies develop from everyone in the group responding to others, including those taking the lead, and by mutual adjustment deciding on the social norms for the group. People on the spectrum cannot do that. So they might react wrongly in terms of the group expectation, or seem rude or insensitive or out of tune. Members of the group will take offence that one member hasn't obeyed the "rules" or respected the feelings of the group.

Frankly group dynamics are a convenience for NTs who need a social context. They aren't essential to life. And because someone has a disability that means they cannot engage successfully in group dynamics shouldn't mean that they aren't successful persons in their own right.

Tragically what happens to people on the spectrum is they come up against their failings in terms of group dynamics all the time. NTs, maybe because its automatic with them, simply do not perceive the difficulties with it that people on the spectrum face.

Parents of people on the spectrum do need to appreciate that their children cannot adapt to group social dynamics. They will always feel left out, be left out, and get hurt by it. Any why should they - because for the most part it is a social convenience, not a proficiency badge that has to be won?

I perceive your reaction to what I said, reiterated in several responses, to reflect your assumption I should understand your social "rules" - I don't, and cannot. You have a daughter who will face just such problems (if the assessment proves so). As I said before, take a step back and see things from her point of view.