Hi Everyone, I really would value and appreciate your opinions on something. Please bear with me while I explain.
So, disappointed at the lack of AS/ASD social groups in my town (1 group once a month on a day I can’t do, town population nearly 130,000) I decided to create a Facebook account solely to join AS/ASD groups on Facebook to connect with other people with AS/ASD. This is good BUT does not solve the problem of me wanting to connect with other people in my local area with AS/ASD with a view to potential social meet ups. So, what I would really like to do is start a Facebook group for people in my local area with AS/ASD. But I do wonder if I’m jumping the gun a bit as I was only diagnosed in December myself and I feel like I need at least one ‘partner in crime’ to run an online group with but I have no clue where to find such a person/people. Basically I’m a bit scared of just starting up a group on my own based on only a very recent diagnosis. What do you all think?
I think it’s a great idea and if you weren’t feeling scared about the prospect of it, I would wonder why.
I completely agree with you though, that you need a partner in crime. Or rather, I don’t necessarily know if you, or me, needs a partner in crime, but that’s how I feel.
This is something that has been holding me back, in lots of ways. However, no matter what I did or which way I approached it, it was like I couldn’t shake off the idea that I needed a partner in crime.
Anyway, without going too off track, because my situation is different. Actually it’s not that different.
But anyway, why not get the page, put it out there, and whoever comes along, get them involved immediately. Intend that you will find that one person, like my friend (and she’s an aspie too), who just loves to be involved in that kind of thing, being a moderator, making posts etc.
My friend is so good at it, that I’m considering getting her on board as my kind of Facebook or social media person. I love Facebook but any kind of communications with people, is almost too much, so I really do keep my contact with people to a minimum. But I may, or may not, use social media for business purposes.
And also, you can look at this two ways. What have you got to lose, or, what could you gain?
The what have you got to lose part of the question. Is easy. Simply allow yourself, in your mind, to go to the absolute, worst possible scenario. Allow yourself to experience it. Because once you do, you’ve taken the sting out of it.
And then you can dare to imagine, just how wonderful it could be. You just never know.
I was in town. Going to my first job centre appointment, when I began to have a meltdown. I walked into the nearest shop, and announced, I’m autistic and I’m having a meltdown. I didn’t even know if there was anyone in the shop. But a voice came out very clearly, and said, my sons autistic and he’s stood over there, go and talk to him. And she pointed him out to me.
He went on to tell me about the autism group I now go too. I likely would never have found out about it otherwise, because it’s not in my village and they don’t advertise it.
So what I’m saying, is. Give it a try. You don’t know how it’s going to turn out. Either way you’ll benefit. And if you intend to get that one person who loves to get involved, you will.
And don’t worry about the recent diagnosis. The diagnosis may have been recent. But you’ve been autistic all your life. I think that qualifies you X
Thank you for the advice. It's daunting isn't it. Starting something like a group, either in person or online by ourselves? I really want to do it but at the same time I have a fear that I'm not good enough to do it. However, from experience, usually my anxiety proves unfounded and it's better if I just ride out the anxiety and do whatever it is as this usually has positive consequences. Also, I've always had the mantra that I won't achieve anything if I just sit and do nothing, If I want to achieve something then I need to get up and go out there and put the work in to achieve it. You're right too I don't really have anything to lose but lots to gain if it works.
It would be amazing if I could find one or two people in my local area to help me with this. It's great that you have your friend and I hope she agrees to be your social media person.
That's such a coincidence but really great that a meltdown (not so great) led to you meeting another autistic person and finding out about the autism group that you now attend. I guess everything happens for a reason.
Feeling scared still but I think I might just go for it :-)
I think it is such an important and healthy thing for people on the spectrum to talk, communicate, and spend face to face time with each other. I work with Autistic Adults, so I get to spend lots of time with people on the spectrum and I feel very privaliged in my position. I wouldn’t let your worry of only being diagnosed recently put you off setting something up on your own, because ‘you’ have been ‘you’ all your life, regardless of your diagnosis. Best of luck!
Yes, it can feel daunting if we put too much emphasis on the outcome instead of just focusing our efforts on the step in front of us. If we just look at it as a series of small steps, then it’s not daunting, because it’s just a small step. For example, step one might be thinking of a name for the group and not thinking about how the whole thing is going to turn out.
Instead of naming the feeling your feeling as scared, why not name it excitement? If you feel into the actual feeling, you’ll realise fear and excitement are felt in the same way, but we have got into the habit of sometimes calling it fear, instead of excitement. Start calling it excitement instead and so how that works.
I think it’l be great :)
Thank you. I think I shall try it out
This sounds such a wonderful idea Kitsun . I am sure that if you go ahead and publicise it in your area people who would like to help will contact you. I love what @Vans316 says - it's true - we have been autistic all our lives! You will be very good at facilitating a group as your contributions on this forum are always so helpful. Look forward to hearing how it goes.
Thank you. That’s good advice to just take one step at a time. You’re right too what you say about feelings. I remember years ago when I did my psychology degree that one of the theories of human emotion is that what we deem to be an emotion or a feeling such as anger/fear/joy is basically a cognitive interpretation of physiological arousal (adrenaline rush) usually our interpretation is based on context and environment, so for example if we experience physiological arousal and see a big scary bear in front of us then we interpret that we are feeling fear. What I’m trying to get at is that at the moment I’m interpreting what I’m feeling as fear but if I change my focus at look at the potential positives then I should start interpreting that I’m feeling excited about the prospect of starting up a Facebook group. The wonders of the human mind!!
Thank you Sunflower. I’ve managed to cover my beaver scout group on the first Wednesday of next month so that I can actually attend the monthly Aspergers social group in my area, so I might mention that I’m starting a Facebook group and if anyone seems particularly interested then I might ask if they’d like to help. I’ll keep you all updated with how it goes
Yeah, that’s it. You’re not tricking your mind to see possibilities instead of disasters, you’re simply looking at the same thing, but through a different filter.
The human mind is fascinating. It’s my special interest. I’ve had it all my life because I’ve always found the way other people see life, as truly fascinating.