As a kid, I seemed to make friends and play football, cricket etc., no problem. However, around the time of puberty, while people I knew became more interested in mixing with the opposite sex, I did not seem to understand how to go about it or even cared that much. Naturally, I had the usual sexual urges of a teenager, but socially I had no clue what to do. I have never really had a proper girlfriend since.

Is this experience something that is relatively common with people on the spectrum?

  • Hi lostmyway,

    Long time no see!

    I went through the same, naturally, as a teen.  I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 23 - and that was only because she chatted me up!

    I've had girlfriends and partners since - but not many, and with long gaps between them.  After that one at 23 (it lasted around 7 months), I was 31 before I had the next one.  I met her through an ad in the local paper.

    I never understood the 'rules' of attraction, flirtation, etc.  I never understood how some guys could just go out and get a girlfriend.  I especially never understood how some people can just tell, from looking at someone else, whether or not they stand a chance of 'scoring'.

    I was in my late 40s before I was finally told by a woman I was seeing that I was blind to flirtation.  We'd been meeting up for coffee for weeks.  I fancied her, of course, but I didn't know how to take things further.  Finally, it was down to her to make the move.  She said to me afterwards 'I was giving up hope on you.  I thought you weren't interested.  I started to think you were gay.'

    I still don't get it now.

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