• Replies 10 replies
  • Subscribers 28 subscribers
  • Views 3728 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

My Daughter wont use a public toilet, i dont know what to do...

ceejaydj

Hi,

I have a 4 1/2 year old Daughter that has social and communication difficulties with anxiety and she is awaiting assessment for a possible diagnosis of Autism. 

There are many many problems that we have to help her with and to be fair we have been given lots of help and advice but one thing that has coused problems for us and our Daughter over the last few years is going to the loo.

She will only use our toilet or her grandparents toilets.  If we go out somewhere for the day she will keep it in, i have'nt a clue how she manges it but she does.  It has resulted in infections in the past but the fear of using a public toilet is too much for her to handle.

She doesnt like the noise of the hand dryers, the size of the cubicle, the toilet paper etc basically its got to the point now that when i know she need the toilet and try to take her to one out and about, as soon as she sees the toilet sign she gets really anxious and crys.

We have tryed putting her in pull up nappies which ease her anxiety but she will not use them.

I have managed to purchase a special key for disabled toilets, but she wont use them either.  I really feel for her as it does take over her day when we go anywhere i.e. we went to a farm park the other week and she constantly told me where the toilets are and that she didnt need to go and was asking if i wanted to go (which i cant unless someone is with me).  She becomes obssessed with wanting to know where they are and obviously trying to avoid them.

Has anyone else been in this situation?  Any advice would be great thank you

Parents

  • I had acute difficulty using public toilets well into my twenties and it was really hard to break out of this pattern as it was obviously "inconvenient". It meant I took a long time over it, or would walk further to find a better option. Part of it was the cleanliness, which did worry me and necessitated cleaning the environment, but also the smells.

    However I long put this down to bullying at school. The toilets were where I was often extremely vulnerable, (also changing rooms for gym and sport and communal washing areas/showers and baths). It was where the covert smokers, the adolescent semi-criminal activity and the more disruptive sort hung out, so fear of attack and ambush was a big issue. I am very sensitive to movement in my peripheral vision and toilets involve proximity to others moving just on the margins of vision.

    Also toilets form a major factor in schoolkids' humour and that must have an impact on those on the spectrum who may have difficulty understanding the humour.

Reply

  • I had acute difficulty using public toilets well into my twenties and it was really hard to break out of this pattern as it was obviously "inconvenient". It meant I took a long time over it, or would walk further to find a better option. Part of it was the cleanliness, which did worry me and necessitated cleaning the environment, but also the smells.

    However I long put this down to bullying at school. The toilets were where I was often extremely vulnerable, (also changing rooms for gym and sport and communal washing areas/showers and baths). It was where the covert smokers, the adolescent semi-criminal activity and the more disruptive sort hung out, so fear of attack and ambush was a big issue. I am very sensitive to movement in my peripheral vision and toilets involve proximity to others moving just on the margins of vision.

    Also toilets form a major factor in schoolkids' humour and that must have an impact on those on the spectrum who may have difficulty understanding the humour.

Children
No Data