My Daughter wont use a public toilet, i dont know what to do...

Hi,

I have a 4 1/2 year old Daughter that has social and communication difficulties with anxiety and she is awaiting assessment for a possible diagnosis of Autism. 

There are many many problems that we have to help her with and to be fair we have been given lots of help and advice but one thing that has coused problems for us and our Daughter over the last few years is going to the loo.

She will only use our toilet or her grandparents toilets.  If we go out somewhere for the day she will keep it in, i have'nt a clue how she manges it but she does.  It has resulted in infections in the past but the fear of using a public toilet is too much for her to handle.

She doesnt like the noise of the hand dryers, the size of the cubicle, the toilet paper etc basically its got to the point now that when i know she need the toilet and try to take her to one out and about, as soon as she sees the toilet sign she gets really anxious and crys.

We have tryed putting her in pull up nappies which ease her anxiety but she will not use them.

I have managed to purchase a special key for disabled toilets, but she wont use them either.  I really feel for her as it does take over her day when we go anywhere i.e. we went to a farm park the other week and she constantly told me where the toilets are and that she didnt need to go and was asking if i wanted to go (which i cant unless someone is with me).  She becomes obssessed with wanting to know where they are and obviously trying to avoid them.

Has anyone else been in this situation?  Any advice would be great thank you

Parents
  • I agree with the last comment. My daughter had the same problem with using public toilets for about a year. We had a potty we took everywhere that she was happy to use but I would also get her to come in the toilets when I went (emphasising that she didn't have to go as well). I realised after a while that it was because the seat was dirty or it had something in the toilet. She will now use a toilet when we're out and about but I have to flush it first and she has to see me clean the toilet seat. She also doesn't like having dirty hands or face. If your daughter is the same, the cleanliness of the toilets could be an issue for her too.

Reply
  • I agree with the last comment. My daughter had the same problem with using public toilets for about a year. We had a potty we took everywhere that she was happy to use but I would also get her to come in the toilets when I went (emphasising that she didn't have to go as well). I realised after a while that it was because the seat was dirty or it had something in the toilet. She will now use a toilet when we're out and about but I have to flush it first and she has to see me clean the toilet seat. She also doesn't like having dirty hands or face. If your daughter is the same, the cleanliness of the toilets could be an issue for her too.

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