Why does everything go wrong

Finding it very stressful trying to convince my adult son, that there are "Nice/Good" people in this world. He is 37 has online friends, but no "Real" friends as he calls them. He has joined a couple of Meet up groups and not had good experiences, so chose not to go back. He is going stir crazy just being stuck home 24/7 365 days a year, only time he goes out is with me. He even admits it's not healthy for either of us for him to spend all his time with mum. 

The only things he has to do is listening to his music, read his magazines he subscripts too, talk to his online friends. He said he wants friends to meet up with, do stuff friends do. He would love a girlfriendDisappointed, in the future a wife, children but the women he meets all say he is too nice. How can you be too nice ? As a woman I would rather met a man who treats me right, than treats me wrongly Disappointed He often says mum I wish I had your confidence because I'd be a hit with people.

He has joined dating sites which have been a failure, all they do is take your money. As mum my heart is breaking because I really don't know what I can do to help him. 

Parents
  • I'd persevere with the Meetup groups - I bounced around a few of them until I found the ones I fit better with. Some can be a bit of a clique and breaking in to the group can be hard. It would be good to practice social skills with strangers in these events with no commitment to them.

  • Thank you good to hear you have experienced what my son has. I will persevere with trying to get him to try more meet up groups. There are a number of groups waiting for someone to start them. I even said I would help him run that side of it, anything to help my son. He can be a little stubborn, but then so can mum, no matter how long it takes I will convince him there are friends and a woman out there for him. 

  • The groups waiting to start don't exist - it's Meetup drumming up business.

    You can start your own group - but you need to be vigilant with weeding out the membership as it bumps up the costs if you've got hundreds of non-active members that just joined to be nosey.

    Why not start a local special interest meetup for trains or model railways or even autistic people - at least you know what you'll be dealing with - but don't be disheartened if no-one joins immediately - it takes time for people to find the groups.

  • The easist meetups are organising things like a pub evening or coffee meet - they work even if only 2 or 3 others turn up and there's no extra costs involved for the attendees or yourself other than a coffee or a pint. People like 'cheap' for a first meet.

    Some people lock-down their group so no-one can see future or previous meetups as though it's some kind of secret organistation. I suggest leaving everything visible so people can see the group's activity to see if it's something they want to join.

  • Oh right thanks for telling me that Slight smile Will have a chat with my son see if I can get him to give it a go thanks for your advice 

Reply Children
  • The easist meetups are organising things like a pub evening or coffee meet - they work even if only 2 or 3 others turn up and there's no extra costs involved for the attendees or yourself other than a coffee or a pint. People like 'cheap' for a first meet.

    Some people lock-down their group so no-one can see future or previous meetups as though it's some kind of secret organistation. I suggest leaving everything visible so people can see the group's activity to see if it's something they want to join.