Online tests - AQ EQ SQ - From the ARC website

Goatworshiper said:

What does the systemizing one mean? Thats the only thing that's so far cast doubt on me having ASD.

From what I understand of the EQ/SQ scores it's the difference between the two that can indicate an ASD. If you are an extreme systemizer then it is more likely that you have an ASD as your systemizing is significantly disproportioned to your empathising.

I agree with that statement 100%. In fact I would go on to say that irrational feelings  annoy me incredibly. As you say, when people have a legitimate reason for being upset I can understand why, but even then I can't say that I feel anything for them. I can just see the logic in why they are upset. In either case I can't do anything to comfort them.

I have a real "just shut up and get on with it" attitude to moaning and irrational feels. I much prefer being like this! 

This is exactly how I am. When my daughter is upset over something it's my husband that hugs her and is empathetic to her situation. I'll be standing there making rational observations as to why she shouldn't be upset. So if she has a nightmare he will be holding her and telling her it's alright, etc. I will be saying stuff like "of course your safe, it was a nightmare, it was not real so you don't need to be upset, it's over now because your awake. You can go back to sleep now because the likelihood of having the same dream is very slim to zero, most likely you will have a quite nice dream now."

It works as well, she gets the affection she needs from her dad and I rationalise the whole thing for her, she likes to understand things and so I explain them to her in a way she can understand and process. My husband can get quite irritated when she doesn't seem able to comprehend something so I explain it in a way I know she will just get....I'm 99% sure she's on the spectrum too so it's handy because I think the same way she does and I know how to deal with most things because I know how/why I would react that way, particularly if it's sensory related. I do hug her sometimes but my first reaction is not to but if she needs it and my husband isn't there (or it's him she's upset with) then I can do it but find it awkward and uncomfortable.

As for other people if someone is upset it really annoys me/freaks me out, I hate having to deal with other people's emotions. When my grandmother was dying from terminal cancer my mum would end up in tears on the phone to me because she couldn't cope with looking after her and my neice and doing her job. I would instruct her to get some professional carers in, tell my brother to look after his own kid and take some leave from work, there was no emotional support, I do feel bad about it sometimes but it's just who I am. I will give you a solution to an emotional problem but as for hugs etc nope not happening.

Goatworshiper said:

What does the systemizing one mean? Thats the only thing that's so far cast doubt on me having ASD.

From what I understand of the EQ/SQ scores it's the difference between the two that can indicate an ASD. If you are an extreme systemizer then it is more likely that you have an ASD as your systemizing is significantly disproportioned to your empathising.

I agree with that statement 100%. In fact I would go on to say that irrational feelings  annoy me incredibly. As you say, when people have a legitimate reason for being upset I can understand why, but even then I can't say that I feel anything for them. I can just see the logic in why they are upset. In either case I can't do anything to comfort them.

I have a real "just shut up and get on with it" attitude to moaning and irrational feels. I much prefer being like this! 

This is exactly how I am. When my daughter is upset over something it's my husband that hugs her and is empathetic to her situation. I'll be standing there making rational observations as to why she shouldn't be upset. So if she has a nightmare he will be holding her and telling her it's alright, etc. I will be saying stuff like "of course your safe, it was a nightmare, it was not real so you don't need to be upset, it's over now because your awake. You can go back to sleep now because the likelihood of having the same dream is very slim to zero, most likely you will have a quite nice dream now."

It works as well, she gets the affection she needs from her dad and I rationalise the whole thing for her, she likes to understand things and so I explain them to her in a way she can understand and process. My husband can get quite irritated when she doesn't seem able to comprehend something so I explain it in a way I know she will just get....I'm 99% sure she's on the spectrum too so it's handy because I think the same way she does and I know how to deal with most things because I know how/why I would react that way, particularly if it's sensory related. I do hug her sometimes but my first reaction is not to but if she needs it and my husband isn't there (or it's him she's upset with) then I can do it but find it awkward and uncomfortable.

As for other people if someone is upset it really annoys me/freaks me out, I hate having to deal with other people's emotions. When my grandmother was dying from terminal cancer my mum would end up in tears on the phone to me because she couldn't cope with looking after her and my neice and doing her job. I would instruct her to get some professional carers in, tell my brother to look after his own kid and take some leave from work, there was no emotional support, I do feel bad about it sometimes but it's just who I am. I will give you a solution to an emotional problem but as for hugs etc nope not happening.