As someone autistic, I know how vulnerable I can be at times.
I have to think hard to understand that things may not be as they seem.
There have been posts here recently about 'friendship' and dating. From a general point of view there are several things to look out for where others could take advantage of autistic traits. And one of them is someone who says they are neurotypical but are looking for someone autistic.
This begs the question 'Why?' I think we would all be very suspicious of a middle aged man who said he wanted to meet girls of thirteen or fourteen. It woujld immediately send alarm bells ringing. And by the same token we should be very wary if someone says they are neurotypical and then wishes to make friends with and date autistic people. My thoughts of this that spring to mind are that it may be someone who wishes to take advantage of autistic naiivity, someone who wants to lead us gradually to places we are not comfortable. Add to the mix the first thing they say is that they want to see pictures of us and we are getting into very dangerous territory if we are not careful.
Our details could be shared with any number of strangers, the word could get out of our vulnerabilities which have been coaxed out of us and this used by any number of people to exploit us. And just because someone says they live in Birmingham or Manchester or wherever, does not mean it is true. It could be to lead us into a false sense of security,
And then there are the 'hard-luck' stories. Who can forget the 'Nigerian' emails of a few years ago where untold riches were promised in return for a sum of money to release funds. And then the emails purporting to be from a bank. Such things are getting more and more sophisticated. We could give our details to any number of people who want to exploit us through befriending just one person.
Several years ago an email which purported to be from a loved one, saying they were trapped in a foreign country and needed money immediately to get home. The address was got from harvesting addresses from a friends computer. And I have suspicions that befriending some of these people might also lead to such hard luck stories or similar.
It is very difficult to tell who is genuine and who is not but we should all be very careful. I know it is difficult to say that all posts asking for dating should be removed. But I believe this should be done in order to protect us. This forum should not be a dating site. And none of us should reveal personal details to anyone until we are absolutely certain that someone is bona fide. To do otherwise could have tragic consequences.
The following song is quite relevant:
Add me by Chumbawamba
Thank you for this thread.
I really like it. Thank you for the warnings to be careful.
I think this thread is at least partially because of me.
I will try not to write about dating anymore. I am really sorry.
Hi, don't think you need to be sorry, you haven't upset anyone really. I'd think it's o.k. to talk about dating as a subject, but for trying to find a date it's just not the right platform, as that one moderator explained a long time ago, and that hasn't really changed.
I'm not really convinced about dating websites generally, don't think it would work for me, I'm just way too slow, I can't start with trying to find someone to date, for me it has to start with someone I can observe for some time first, then become friends and keep it that way for some time, otherwise I don't get interested in others in a way that I would want them to get any closer to me. But suppose everybody is different there.
Nothing to be sorry about. Discussing dating and explaining the difficulties you have and the problems you have with relationships is no problem and is part of proper adult discussion. My post is about the fact that we can become easy prey for a predator and that this forum should not help such people by being used as a dating site. Most of us need companionship and someone unscrupulous could use this as a method of preying on us as a sector of the population that can be naive and vulnerable. And this forum could be facilitating this if it allows such posts.