Feeling so alone

I am 21 years old and was officially diagnosed with Asperger's a little over a year ago. I was advised to join this site in an attempt to interact with people like me, and as a chance to see that there are other people going through the same things, and that I'm not alone. The truth is, I can see people on here have their difficulties and that I do have things in common with other people. But that doesn't help. I still feel alone and isolated.

I have never really had many friends. After leaving school several years ago, I had 2 people I considered friends that I felt comfortable with. As time went on I realised these people were not really my friends and were just using me. I did what I should have done a long time ago and cut them out of my life. That was in August 2016. Since then, I've not really had anyone to talk to apart from my family.  I don't really get out anymore unless I'm doing something with family. The only interaction I really get is with my family, however, this is at a point where (through no fault of their own) anything they do or say really frustrates me, because i'm around them way too much. I don't have an escape. I've been depressed for a while now, but with how lonely I'm feeling it is only getting worse. 

I attend a social group offered by the local ADHD and Asperger's team, but I don't even really interact with anyone when I'm there. It's not that I don't want to, because I really do; I'm just not very good at it. I feel so bad about myself, I've tried to make friends, while I was at college, and in various places of work. I just don't seem to be able to connect with anyone. All I want is someone to want to spend time with me, someone that likes me for me. I've tried online apps and dating sites to try and find a companion, with no luck. The task only made me feel worse about myself, as my profiles didn't receive any views and I never received a single reply to any messages sent. Every attempt to interact or befriend someone only leaves me feeling like I'm not worth liking, or that it just isn't possible for someone to like me or want to spend time with me. It's hard to like myself when nobody else does. I often feel like life really isn't for me, but I could never do anything as I couldn't bear the thought of hurting my family, but this only makes me feel trapped.

Parents
  • Hi, I felt lonely this morning and the other day too, after coming out on the ASD spectrum,  my trouble is that no one from the Monday Club in Leicester, who support people with autism have bothered to respond to my E-mails or phone calls.  I am going to call them again but then I read the small print, we are a charity and we may close due to cuts.  So I have to find my own social group, fortunately I love the knitting and crochet group which meets every Sunday, it may not be geared towards autistic people but at least I am with others who have a common interest.  I also planted a few flower seeds this morning and vegetable seeds for my little patch of green at the back of my house.  Social media is not the same is it, I am almost 52, single and live alone, having to manage my own life.  I am too capable and independent to come under the radar of social services either. When ever I feel low and dispirited, I go for walks and then at least I meet my neighbours.  Take care and look after yourself, you are not alone. Debs

Reply
  • Hi, I felt lonely this morning and the other day too, after coming out on the ASD spectrum,  my trouble is that no one from the Monday Club in Leicester, who support people with autism have bothered to respond to my E-mails or phone calls.  I am going to call them again but then I read the small print, we are a charity and we may close due to cuts.  So I have to find my own social group, fortunately I love the knitting and crochet group which meets every Sunday, it may not be geared towards autistic people but at least I am with others who have a common interest.  I also planted a few flower seeds this morning and vegetable seeds for my little patch of green at the back of my house.  Social media is not the same is it, I am almost 52, single and live alone, having to manage my own life.  I am too capable and independent to come under the radar of social services either. When ever I feel low and dispirited, I go for walks and then at least I meet my neighbours.  Take care and look after yourself, you are not alone. Debs

Children
  • Ah, I'm in the same part of the country as you Slight smile there's a board game group I go to that's always good fun. Really nice bunch of people, it's not a "geared towards autism" thing but I'm pretty certain a good few of us are on the spectrum.

    PM if you're interested enough to want to know when and where (I'd rather not post it directly here because I don't like to make it too easy for any random person browsing the internet to physically locate me). x