Community-Forums-Miscellaneous and Chat... General Chat/Random Topics. (Est. January 11th, 2018)

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Parents
  • http://community.autism.org.uk/f/miscellaneous-and-chat/11407/nas-forum-what-do-i-do-if-i-am-on-this-forum-as-an-autistic-person-but-because-it-is-new-year-the-other-informal-no-specific-topic-threads-have-become-largely-forgotten

    ...This Link is Posted for three reasons: 1- That I said that I would do so here, upon that other Thread. 2- It sort of still applies. (e.g. I am not a Parent.) 3- ...in case anyone wants to Post here, and at the bottom/end (...), yet not link to the Pictures I Posted. This is just Text, here.  (Go back toTop and press "Reply", if anyone is new, here...)

  • Hello !

    Thought I would take you all on a little journey. Please don’t be worried about what it says!

    it is merely something that highlights how “ fitting in” is like for me.Lol. Enjoy but don’t fret I am ok.

    And so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,here it is.

    A bit random,,,,,but has anyone seen LoneWarrior?

    I was with him a short while ago but he seems to have faded away! And I just cannot seem to find him?

    I was with him just a few minutes before he took a shower! He for some reason unknown by many hadn’t bothered to shower since before Christmas?

    He couldn’t apparently see why it was necessary? Or maybe he was trying to be himself?

    He was repeatedly asked to do so and finally decided it was easier just to do it.

    well it was just before he showered that he began to fade.

    It was as he stood there I felt him start fading, I think bits of him went down the plug hole ?

    then when he got suitably dressed in the clothes that were chosen for him he faded even more. The last time I felt him was when he sprayed loads of deodorant all over himself! 

    I think I caught a glimpse of him as I walked past a mirror, It may not have been as I could see a beard that looked like his! He has been growing it since the start of Christmas. His first beard previously not grown as his OH wasn’t keen on them.

    I couldn’t say it was him however as only the beard was recognisable,there was nothing behind it that looked quite right!

    It looked more like “ LONE”

    I will come back here later to see if he turns up.

    I am sure he will.!

    He is probably busy trying as usual to be what every one wants,well,,,,,,everyone out there.

    And so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,!

    So as I said I am ok but just wanted to say how it is for him,well I think it is???

    This isn’t new, I just understand it more now, 

    For all of you who know “ ME” please don’t fret! I am really ok Lol.

    take care and I WILL RETURN,,,,,!(promise)

    ()()()()()+()x

    r-42.

    v-610.

    s-18.

    14-01-2018.

    13:12.

  • You are not fading away LoneWarrior...you are beginning to become real!

    THE VELVETEEN RABBIT

    "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by
    side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does
    it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
    
    "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that
    happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just
    to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
    
    "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
    
    "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When
    you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
    
    "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit
    by bit?"
    
    "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It
    takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who
    break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
    Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved
    off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very
    shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are
    Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
    
    x take care
  • No, no big sleep Robert, just 8 hours or so each night will be more or less enough. Or almost round the clock in my case just now! I love to hear your tales of the neighbours etc, and see your poorly foot. As Lonewarrior said, you’ve got something few people in this world have, and that in itself is valuable. You’ve got insight and understand and you help all of us on here, which I for one, definitely need. 

  • There’s a technique Robert, called radical forgiveness and radical self forgiveness. You can find the process for free, on the radical forgiveness website. You can forgive yourself and you must. I’m not saying it’s easy but it’s possible. Flash backs can still happen but they get less and less and easier to deal with. 

  • I love that we all have our own distinctive styles for dress. It shows how unique and individual we all are and our richness of characters. I think we’re all learning to be us and as you said Lonewarrior, we’re not asking for anything dramatic, just a chance to be ourselves. 

  • Sending more hugs to you Lonewarrior and hopes of equilibrium for you and your wife and family. Perhaps in time they will be open to reading the book and others and realise it’s lifelong not a fad. I’m glad your inner you is present and correct and you have decided to dress for your own comfort and style. I’m the opposite of you and DC, formal attire is very uncomfortable for me and my conscious decision was to stop wearing shirts,collars, full length sleeves etc And that even facing others concerns and hopes of you returning to what they are familiar with you have remained resolute and brave in accepting yourself and continuing on your journey. I know some question the use of “ journey “ so I looked it up. We are moving from ignorance to knowledge; we are on difficult process of change and development and it’s something we are working on so I think journey does fit. ()()()

  • Definitely not Robert, please believe me.

    Each of us has a purpose,You have helped others here including me,just listening to the things you recount can enrich lives.

    I For one would miss you,you have allowed me to question many things which adds to my life.

    As said the past is the past, I For one have much in the past which could have effected me negatively!

    It actually made me a stronger and more understanding person.

    Your past has shaped you into a thoughtful person who understands and can support others.

    So I need you around ok.hang on in there.for me.().

  •  No, not the big sleep...I’d miss you too much x. What has happened in the past is in the past....you are you NOW and you are valued here 

  • Thanks for remembering me and mentioning me.

    But.  Disappointed

    It's 5am and I have woken and I cannot sleep.   

    I have done some bad things in my past and I cannot forgive myself.  I cannot sleep.  I cannot sleep.  I cannot sleep.  Perhaps I deserve the big sleep Skull

  • Well as promised I am back,,,,I am still unrecognisable but the inner me is all present and very correct!

    Thank you all for your kind comments, 

    Ellie that story is so beuatiful,it says so much about my journey, I think it says a lot about each and every one of us.

    You are truly a kind being.

    I have yet to complete my journey,but I am real! 

    I did shower,I didn’t want to, the whole story is true, Instead of Feeling angry I decided to just do it out of courtesy to my OH.

    Now there lies the reason I am struggling!

    I have suddenly been made aware of who I am. I have tried to show people the real me,I wasn’t welcomed,maybe the sudden demasking caught them off guard, I decided to climb back in my box to allow for an easier life,comments most here may have heard “well once you have seen the doctor you can get back to being normal” ouch that hurt.said by my boss.

    ”maybe you should stop researching all that stuff as it only upsets you”  or “why can’t you just stop doing all this and act like you always have” ouch.ouch My OH.

    Bless her she even brought me a book”Been there,Done that,TRY THIS, by TonyAttwood.

    she thought it might help me understand how to cope better and start being normal again! Double ouch.

    So I don’t seem to be accepted, well it is there loss,

    All I ask is for a chance to co exhist, not to dictate my thoughts, not to suddenly change everything about me,So ups and downs in mood for me,

    I posted it here because at the time there were seven people I have been lucky t call my friends, we have walked this path pretty much together,we have listened,talked,cried and laughed, gave support when needed and understand each other so very well. It seemed right somehow. Not a ne thread that others may not understand.

    So the journey continues, I don’t blame my OH for her concerns, suddenly I have changed, I only want a chance to be more myself, no big plans,just able to enjoy my kind of thing,ideally with her by my side, After many years of thinking my ideas are a bit strange or to different I cannot see that happening,both have different ideas or values concerning adventure. so All I ask is to be allowed to be myself now and again.

    Big hugs to ,and thanks to,

    Ellie

    Missy.

    disallowed C.

    spotty.

    BlueRay.

    Martian Tom.

    and 

    Robert123.

    NAS36011.

    for just being you.

    And everyone here who has helped me wether you knew it or not you all play a part of my life.

    By the way DC we would look swell walking together as I have finally decided to wear what I want,a waist coat,and old style shoes or boots,short leg cotton trousers,a cravat or scarf ,old style clothes, imagine a time when steam engines were the rage, nothing flash but distinctive,

    As a teenager I dressed as a biker,I liked feeling different,after all I was but didn’t understand why. I may decide to keep this beard I am growing Lol.

    ()()()()()()()()()()x

    r-52.

    v-738.

    s-18.

    15-01-2018.

    00:21.

Reply
  • Well as promised I am back,,,,I am still unrecognisable but the inner me is all present and very correct!

    Thank you all for your kind comments, 

    Ellie that story is so beuatiful,it says so much about my journey, I think it says a lot about each and every one of us.

    You are truly a kind being.

    I have yet to complete my journey,but I am real! 

    I did shower,I didn’t want to, the whole story is true, Instead of Feeling angry I decided to just do it out of courtesy to my OH.

    Now there lies the reason I am struggling!

    I have suddenly been made aware of who I am. I have tried to show people the real me,I wasn’t welcomed,maybe the sudden demasking caught them off guard, I decided to climb back in my box to allow for an easier life,comments most here may have heard “well once you have seen the doctor you can get back to being normal” ouch that hurt.said by my boss.

    ”maybe you should stop researching all that stuff as it only upsets you”  or “why can’t you just stop doing all this and act like you always have” ouch.ouch My OH.

    Bless her she even brought me a book”Been there,Done that,TRY THIS, by TonyAttwood.

    she thought it might help me understand how to cope better and start being normal again! Double ouch.

    So I don’t seem to be accepted, well it is there loss,

    All I ask is for a chance to co exhist, not to dictate my thoughts, not to suddenly change everything about me,So ups and downs in mood for me,

    I posted it here because at the time there were seven people I have been lucky t call my friends, we have walked this path pretty much together,we have listened,talked,cried and laughed, gave support when needed and understand each other so very well. It seemed right somehow. Not a ne thread that others may not understand.

    So the journey continues, I don’t blame my OH for her concerns, suddenly I have changed, I only want a chance to be more myself, no big plans,just able to enjoy my kind of thing,ideally with her by my side, After many years of thinking my ideas are a bit strange or to different I cannot see that happening,both have different ideas or values concerning adventure. so All I ask is to be allowed to be myself now and again.

    Big hugs to ,and thanks to,

    Ellie

    Missy.

    disallowed C.

    spotty.

    BlueRay.

    Martian Tom.

    and 

    Robert123.

    NAS36011.

    for just being you.

    And everyone here who has helped me wether you knew it or not you all play a part of my life.

    By the way DC we would look swell walking together as I have finally decided to wear what I want,a waist coat,and old style shoes or boots,short leg cotton trousers,a cravat or scarf ,old style clothes, imagine a time when steam engines were the rage, nothing flash but distinctive,

    As a teenager I dressed as a biker,I liked feeling different,after all I was but didn’t understand why. I may decide to keep this beard I am growing Lol.

    ()()()()()()()()()()x

    r-52.

    v-738.

    s-18.

    15-01-2018.

    00:21.

Children
  • No, no big sleep Robert, just 8 hours or so each night will be more or less enough. Or almost round the clock in my case just now! I love to hear your tales of the neighbours etc, and see your poorly foot. As Lonewarrior said, you’ve got something few people in this world have, and that in itself is valuable. You’ve got insight and understand and you help all of us on here, which I for one, definitely need. 

  • There’s a technique Robert, called radical forgiveness and radical self forgiveness. You can find the process for free, on the radical forgiveness website. You can forgive yourself and you must. I’m not saying it’s easy but it’s possible. Flash backs can still happen but they get less and less and easier to deal with. 

  • I love that we all have our own distinctive styles for dress. It shows how unique and individual we all are and our richness of characters. I think we’re all learning to be us and as you said Lonewarrior, we’re not asking for anything dramatic, just a chance to be ourselves. 

  • Sending more hugs to you Lonewarrior and hopes of equilibrium for you and your wife and family. Perhaps in time they will be open to reading the book and others and realise it’s lifelong not a fad. I’m glad your inner you is present and correct and you have decided to dress for your own comfort and style. I’m the opposite of you and DC, formal attire is very uncomfortable for me and my conscious decision was to stop wearing shirts,collars, full length sleeves etc And that even facing others concerns and hopes of you returning to what they are familiar with you have remained resolute and brave in accepting yourself and continuing on your journey. I know some question the use of “ journey “ so I looked it up. We are moving from ignorance to knowledge; we are on difficult process of change and development and it’s something we are working on so I think journey does fit. ()()()

  • Definitely not Robert, please believe me.

    Each of us has a purpose,You have helped others here including me,just listening to the things you recount can enrich lives.

    I For one would miss you,you have allowed me to question many things which adds to my life.

    As said the past is the past, I For one have much in the past which could have effected me negatively!

    It actually made me a stronger and more understanding person.

    Your past has shaped you into a thoughtful person who understands and can support others.

    So I need you around ok.hang on in there.for me.().

  •  No, not the big sleep...I’d miss you too much x. What has happened in the past is in the past....you are you NOW and you are valued here 

  • Thanks for remembering me and mentioning me.

    But.  Disappointed

    It's 5am and I have woken and I cannot sleep.   

    I have done some bad things in my past and I cannot forgive myself.  I cannot sleep.  I cannot sleep.  I cannot sleep.  Perhaps I deserve the big sleep Skull