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http://community.autism.org.uk/f/miscellaneous-and-chat/11407/nas-forum-what-do-i-do-if-i-am-on-this-forum-as-an-autistic-person-but-because-it-is-new-year-the-other-informal-no-specific-topic-threads-have-become-largely-forgotten

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Hello !

Thought I would take you all on a little journey. Please don’t be worried about what it says!

it is merely something that highlights how “ fitting in” is like for me.Lol. Enjoy but don’t fret I am ok.

And so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,here it is.

A bit random,,,,,but has anyone seen LoneWarrior?

I was with him a short while ago but he seems to have faded away! And I just cannot seem to find him?

I was with him just a few minutes before he took a shower! He for some reason unknown by many hadn’t bothered to shower since before Christmas?

He couldn’t apparently see why it was necessary? Or maybe he was trying to be himself?

He was repeatedly asked to do so and finally decided it was easier just to do it.

well it was just before he showered that he began to fade.

It was as he stood there I felt him start fading, I think bits of him went down the plug hole ?

then when he got suitably dressed in the clothes that were chosen for him he faded even more. The last time I felt him was when he sprayed loads of deodorant all over himself! 

I think I caught a glimpse of him as I walked past a mirror, It may not have been as I could see a beard that looked like his! He has been growing it since the start of Christmas. His first beard previously not grown as his OH wasn’t keen on them.

I couldn’t say it was him however as only the beard was recognisable,there was nothing behind it that looked quite right!

It looked more like “ LONE”

I will come back here later to see if he turns up.

I am sure he will.!

He is probably busy trying as usual to be what every one wants,well,,,,,,everyone out there.

And so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,!

So as I said I am ok but just wanted to say how it is for him,well I think it is???

This isn’t new, I just understand it more now, 

For all of you who know “ ME” please don’t fret! I am really ok Lol.

take care and I WILL RETURN,,,,,!(promise)

()()()()()+()x

r-42.

v-610.

s-18.

14-01-2018.

13:12.

You are not fading away LoneWarrior...you are beginning to become real!

THE VELVETEEN RABBIT

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by
side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does
it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that
happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just
to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When
you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit
by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It
takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who
break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved
off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very
shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are
Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

x take care

No, no big sleep Robert, just 8 hours or so each night will be more or less enough. Or almost round the clock in my case just now! I love to hear your tales of the neighbours etc, and see your poorly foot. As Lonewarrior said, you’ve got something few people in this world have, and that in itself is valuable. You’ve got insight and understand and you help all of us on here, which I for one, definitely need. 

There’s a technique Robert, called radical forgiveness and radical self forgiveness. You can find the process for free, on the radical forgiveness website. You can forgive yourself and you must. I’m not saying it’s easy but it’s possible. Flash backs can still happen but they get less and less and easier to deal with. 

I love that we all have our own distinctive styles for dress. It shows how unique and individual we all are and our richness of characters. I think we’re all learning to be us and as you said Lonewarrior, we’re not asking for anything dramatic, just a chance to be ourselves. 

Sending more hugs to you Lonewarrior and hopes of equilibrium for you and your wife and family. Perhaps in time they will be open to reading the book and others and realise it’s lifelong not a fad. I’m glad your inner you is present and correct and you have decided to dress for your own comfort and style. I’m the opposite of you and DC, formal attire is very uncomfortable for me and my conscious decision was to stop wearing shirts,collars, full length sleeves etc And that even facing others concerns and hopes of you returning to what they are familiar with you have remained resolute and brave in accepting yourself and continuing on your journey. I know some question the use of “ journey “ so I looked it up. We are moving from ignorance to knowledge; we are on difficult process of change and development and it’s something we are working on so I think journey does fit. ()()()

Definitely not Robert, please believe me.

Each of us has a purpose,You have helped others here including me,just listening to the things you recount can enrich lives.

I For one would miss you,you have allowed me to question many things which adds to my life.

As said the past is the past, I For one have much in the past which could have effected me negatively!

It actually made me a stronger and more understanding person.

Your past has shaped you into a thoughtful person who understands and can support others.

So I need you around ok.hang on in there.for me.().

 No, not the big sleep...I’d miss you too much x. What has happened in the past is in the past....you are you NOW and you are valued here 

 No, not the big sleep...I’d miss you too much x. What has happened in the past is in the past....you are you NOW and you are valued here