Published on 12, July, 2020
So as a male with aspergers, I went to a work meal for once to try to "fit in" with people, it didn't work out that well in my opinion anyway... But yeah so we had our meals then the desert was the last one, then one of the colleagues (she is female a lot older than me) asked if she could have my cherries (I don't like cherries anyway so I said yes and offered them) While I was giving them to her my manager said "that's it, give her your cherries" then the other girls next to me laughed really badly and so did my manager after he saw them laugh and the other lady who I offered the cherries to but she did give my line manager a evil stare at first before she laughed, after that the others laughed at the other jokes as well what was said without me or my line manager getting involved. But is that a friendly joke what my line manager did or not? Is it rude? Targeted at me. I really hate these situations and that is why I didn't go to any of these meals the past few years because I knew it would make me feel like this annoyed, anxious depressed etc, or is it my social difficulties and I misunderstood the social stuff etc? I don't even know/get why it was funny. (My line manager is quite nice though well apart from the light teasing which I do not like so I'm never sure if he's being nice to me or not which is really frustrating as well)
Hi Neutral,
I can sympathise with your situation. I hate things like that. I've often felt like I'm the butt of people's jokes. I currently work with someone who takes advantage of my taking things literally.
Another colleague, who's more sympathetic, nonetheless was thoughtlessly leg-pulling with me on Friday. I was working with a service user who normally gets picked up at 4 pm (I work at a care day centre). By 4.20, his taxi still hadn't arrived - and I was getting agitated more for myself than for him, as my day finishes at 4.30 and I had things to do after he left. I rang her and she said she'd check. She rang back at 4.25 and said 'They're stuck in traffic and will be at least an hour.' I nearly dropped the phone. 'WHAT? AN HOUR?' I yelled. There was a pause. Then she laughed and said 'I'm joking. They'll be here in five minutes.' Great! Thanks very much for 'only joking' with me!
Fortunately, I've developed a bit of a line in repartee to get myself out of such situations. But it still infuriates me, and I still often feel I'm being laughed at behind my back.
I was wondering, reading what you've written, whether the 'cherries' thing referred to something else. Something a little crude. Maybe that's why they thought it was so funny.