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I feel so sad

sonia

Ben and I have just come back from warhammer (a strategy game) He absolutely loves it but the other kids just don't get him and he is annoying (I hate sayng that but I can see from their 7 year old eyes that he is) I just want to say to everyone, he can't help it he has autism. He spent the game calling the other child a loser and winding him up and finally when the other child started crying in frustration. I said to him Ben you've made him cry and he says good thats what he deserves. I know he says that because he does feel bad but his defense mechanism is always to say it was their fault or they deserved it. But I see him at home when I know he thinks he is a horrible boy that no likes. It just makes me feel sad for him, he wants friends so badly but pushes them away.

Parents

  • Hi Sonia

    I just wanted to say I totally relate to your situation and how you feel.  We have very similar circumstances when my son is in large groups and struggling.  He mimics the terms he hears others say but they don't always land in the "appropriate" situation when he uses them.  It is just perceived as bad behaviour by many but there are a few that will understand.

    Many parents and kids know about Autism and my son but sadly many people and children are selfish and will still find our children annoying and play with someone that is not annoying.  I think this can improve with a "celebrating difference" programme at school and perhaps with maturity.  Yes, sometimes you can find 1 or 2 that will understand but where we are currently we don't have any children that understand either and it is painful to watch the torment they go through.  We try to go to things that are not too overwhelming on his senses such as tennis, badminton, cycling, golf and he finds it easier for it to go better with only 1 or 2 children to interact with.

    Does your son have any social or emotional development at school?  There is a CD and book that may be worth looking into called "Theory of Mind" also a course called "social eyes" that NAS have info on.

    Hang in there, there are tough times but also some really great times when you least suspect it.  You are doing are great job just reassuring him and loving him, he needs you.  Well done.

     

     

     

     

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  • Hi Sonia

    I just wanted to say I totally relate to your situation and how you feel.  We have very similar circumstances when my son is in large groups and struggling.  He mimics the terms he hears others say but they don't always land in the "appropriate" situation when he uses them.  It is just perceived as bad behaviour by many but there are a few that will understand.

    Many parents and kids know about Autism and my son but sadly many people and children are selfish and will still find our children annoying and play with someone that is not annoying.  I think this can improve with a "celebrating difference" programme at school and perhaps with maturity.  Yes, sometimes you can find 1 or 2 that will understand but where we are currently we don't have any children that understand either and it is painful to watch the torment they go through.  We try to go to things that are not too overwhelming on his senses such as tennis, badminton, cycling, golf and he finds it easier for it to go better with only 1 or 2 children to interact with.

    Does your son have any social or emotional development at school?  There is a CD and book that may be worth looking into called "Theory of Mind" also a course called "social eyes" that NAS have info on.

    Hang in there, there are tough times but also some really great times when you least suspect it.  You are doing are great job just reassuring him and loving him, he needs you.  Well done.

     

     

     

     

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