• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 28 subscribers
  • Views 2182 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Explaining Autism to my son

sonia

My son has just finally been diagnosed after 3 years of hitting our heads againstr brick walls. he has always had an understanding that he is different in some ways. I have now been able to say it is autism. What I am finding now though is whenever he is naughty or doesn't do his handwriting neat at school he will say "But I have autism". I have tried to explain that this isn't an excuse for bad behaviour or sloppy work but it is a reason why some things are harder for him. How can I stop him using his autism like this. I want him to understand some of his difficulties but not to think "oh well I don't have to bother cos I've got autism" He is high functioning and is not at all anxious socially, in fact he is the opposite and just doesn't get the social cues to back off and give people space. Any help or advice would be welcome, I want to be sure that I do the best I can for him.

Parents

  • I'm not sure this is going to be of any help at all, Sonia, but, let me say this - I completely understand what your son meant when he used to say he couldn't help it. I'm nearly 39 and only very recently diagnosed with Asperger's, and I often become very verbally agressive when stressed. It's not something I have full control over. At least not the feeling. The wanting to lash out. And inside I often want to physically lash out too. But I don't. But only because when I was much younger I kind of shocked myself into not physically lashing out, through physically lashing, if that makes any sense. Which it probably doesn't. So, let me explain, without going into details. I was bullied a bit at school, and on one occasion I fought back, physically, and shocked myself with what I was capable of doing. And ever since then, although I get that same feeling, of wanting to hit someone, or break something, I can manage to control that, sometimes by taking myself out of the situation, but usually by redirecting it into verbal agression. Now, I'm not saying your son will need to go through what I went through to see that he needs to redirect the urge to do something physically, and you may be able to utilise his high intelligence to reason it through with him, but you do have to understand it's like a Tourette's tic and the urge side of it is something he can not fully control, he can only redirect that urge into something less problematic.

Reply

  • I'm not sure this is going to be of any help at all, Sonia, but, let me say this - I completely understand what your son meant when he used to say he couldn't help it. I'm nearly 39 and only very recently diagnosed with Asperger's, and I often become very verbally agressive when stressed. It's not something I have full control over. At least not the feeling. The wanting to lash out. And inside I often want to physically lash out too. But I don't. But only because when I was much younger I kind of shocked myself into not physically lashing out, through physically lashing, if that makes any sense. Which it probably doesn't. So, let me explain, without going into details. I was bullied a bit at school, and on one occasion I fought back, physically, and shocked myself with what I was capable of doing. And ever since then, although I get that same feeling, of wanting to hit someone, or break something, I can manage to control that, sometimes by taking myself out of the situation, but usually by redirecting it into verbal agression. Now, I'm not saying your son will need to go through what I went through to see that he needs to redirect the urge to do something physically, and you may be able to utilise his high intelligence to reason it through with him, but you do have to understand it's like a Tourette's tic and the urge side of it is something he can not fully control, he can only redirect that urge into something less problematic.

Children
No Data