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Explaining Autism to my son

sonia

My son has just finally been diagnosed after 3 years of hitting our heads againstr brick walls. he has always had an understanding that he is different in some ways. I have now been able to say it is autism. What I am finding now though is whenever he is naughty or doesn't do his handwriting neat at school he will say "But I have autism". I have tried to explain that this isn't an excuse for bad behaviour or sloppy work but it is a reason why some things are harder for him. How can I stop him using his autism like this. I want him to understand some of his difficulties but not to think "oh well I don't have to bother cos I've got autism" He is high functioning and is not at all anxious socially, in fact he is the opposite and just doesn't get the social cues to back off and give people space. Any help or advice would be welcome, I want to be sure that I do the best I can for him.

Parents

  • Hi, Ben is 7 and very intelligent, his IQ is 129. He displays lots of very aggressive behaviours and for the most part there is no warning that these behaviours will happen. One minute we will be playing a game the next he has decided he has had enough and will turn on me or his sister. We have been referred to First Contact (Social Services) Because of his agression. I don't think we need that at the moment because I am physically strong enough to stop him and I can make him go to his room where he will calm down but they are worried about his 3 year old sister. Often I will say after the incident, hitting or spitting is completely unacceptable Ben you have to learn to control your anger. He used to say I can't help it mum it just happens, now he says it is my autism. I need him to learn to control his anger before he gets in real trouble. Often his aggression is through pure frustration. He will get one thing wrong and will just lash out, normally at me cos I'm nearest. I know his aggression is probably a lot to do with his autism but I cannot excuse it under any circumstances. CAMHS have basically said that now he is diagnosed they will pretty much discharge him because autism in our nhs area isn't dealt with by CFCS and they suggested this website as a source of help.

     

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  • Hi, Ben is 7 and very intelligent, his IQ is 129. He displays lots of very aggressive behaviours and for the most part there is no warning that these behaviours will happen. One minute we will be playing a game the next he has decided he has had enough and will turn on me or his sister. We have been referred to First Contact (Social Services) Because of his agression. I don't think we need that at the moment because I am physically strong enough to stop him and I can make him go to his room where he will calm down but they are worried about his 3 year old sister. Often I will say after the incident, hitting or spitting is completely unacceptable Ben you have to learn to control your anger. He used to say I can't help it mum it just happens, now he says it is my autism. I need him to learn to control his anger before he gets in real trouble. Often his aggression is through pure frustration. He will get one thing wrong and will just lash out, normally at me cos I'm nearest. I know his aggression is probably a lot to do with his autism but I cannot excuse it under any circumstances. CAMHS have basically said that now he is diagnosed they will pretty much discharge him because autism in our nhs area isn't dealt with by CFCS and they suggested this website as a source of help.

     

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