Explaining Autism to my son

My son has just finally been diagnosed after 3 years of hitting our heads againstr brick walls. he has always had an understanding that he is different in some ways. I have now been able to say it is autism. What I am finding now though is whenever he is naughty or doesn't do his handwriting neat at school he will say "But I have autism". I have tried to explain that this isn't an excuse for bad behaviour or sloppy work but it is a reason why some things are harder for him. How can I stop him using his autism like this. I want him to understand some of his difficulties but not to think "oh well I don't have to bother cos I've got autism" He is high functioning and is not at all anxious socially, in fact he is the opposite and just doesn't get the social cues to back off and give people space. Any help or advice would be welcome, I want to be sure that I do the best I can for him.

Parents
  • Hi Sonia

    Your post doesnt say how old your son is but I'm assuming as you have told him he has a diagnosis he has a good level of understanding. I told my son he had a diagnosis when he was 10 (although he was diagnosed at 4) & we had a few situations where he had said he couldnt do something "because of his thing" as he used to call it eg wouldnt eat his mashed potato one day & winked & said but mam its my thing!.

    You need to work out what are the things he does which are part of his autism and he just  can't help doing and what are the things he does that are just being him pushing your buttons and deal with them accordingly. Its difficult sometimes to seperate the two but he needs clear boundaries as to what behaviour is acceptable and what isn't. Also your understanding of autism will grow as times goes by and sometimes what you may have thought is him just being difficult is actually due to sensory overload that things he does have a reason or purpose.

    Good luck

     

     

     

Reply
  • Hi Sonia

    Your post doesnt say how old your son is but I'm assuming as you have told him he has a diagnosis he has a good level of understanding. I told my son he had a diagnosis when he was 10 (although he was diagnosed at 4) & we had a few situations where he had said he couldnt do something "because of his thing" as he used to call it eg wouldnt eat his mashed potato one day & winked & said but mam its my thing!.

    You need to work out what are the things he does which are part of his autism and he just  can't help doing and what are the things he does that are just being him pushing your buttons and deal with them accordingly. Its difficult sometimes to seperate the two but he needs clear boundaries as to what behaviour is acceptable and what isn't. Also your understanding of autism will grow as times goes by and sometimes what you may have thought is him just being difficult is actually due to sensory overload that things he does have a reason or purpose.

    Good luck

     

     

     

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