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advice needed

pixie

Hi

My daughter cam to me the other day and havng read about aspergers online and taking the tests believes she has aspergers, I do too, she show 90% of the traits, the thing that affects her most is her lack of social skills, she explained it to me as not having anything in her head to say when her peers are in conversation, she has to concentrate to thin kof something to say which doesnt come naturally, i am trying to get her diagnosed but would like some advice, there are no groups in my area but although i have a few suggestions for her it would help if there are others who have benefited from advice on how they can deal with this..

Parents

  • Hi Pixie, my daughter was diagnosed last month with aspergers.  She is nearly 14 years old.  and my God it has been a nightmare trying to get her diagnosed.  I initially went to local GP when she was 3 as I knew that she was different from her peers, used to have mega meltdowns and temper tantrums, OCD, loved routines and rituals and was highly intelligent, her language skills were unbelievable.  The GP totally disregarded my concerns and put it down to being a toddler, after ten years of being turned away I eventually broke down in the Doctors and said that I couldn't cope with her anymore as she was controlling the whole family, as much as we loved her.  I think this spurned them into referring her to CAMHS where she received counselling and from that she was referred to a consultant psychiatrist where eventually she was diagnosed with aspergers.  It all makes perfect sense to me and am somewhat relieved but also worried about her coping in the future at uni etc.  We are in the process of having meetings at school as she is bullied quite badly (typical for an aspie girl as they appear the victim, have avoidance behaviour and take everything to heart) and is receiving counselling at school once a month to discuss her anxieties and anything else that is worrying her.  She is mega intelligent, fantastic singer and actress (just done filming for discovery channel) and we are very proud of her.  We try and celebrate her differences but I do struggle still with her behaviour and how to handle her meltdowns, insecurities, persecution complex, lack of self esteem.  She is desperate to be "popular" (!!) and have lots of friends and my heart breaks for her when another "friend" lets her down or falls out with her.  She is coming to understand her differences and I am also in the process of getting books by tony attwood and leaving them lying around for her to pick up.  Life is different, challenging and sometimes heartbreaking living with her but she does bring much joy and has me in hysterics sometimes.  I just wish that girls with aspergers were better understood as they present so differently from boys and I think thats where the problem lies.  Best of luck to you and your beautiful daughter.  Billy x

Reply

  • Hi Pixie, my daughter was diagnosed last month with aspergers.  She is nearly 14 years old.  and my God it has been a nightmare trying to get her diagnosed.  I initially went to local GP when she was 3 as I knew that she was different from her peers, used to have mega meltdowns and temper tantrums, OCD, loved routines and rituals and was highly intelligent, her language skills were unbelievable.  The GP totally disregarded my concerns and put it down to being a toddler, after ten years of being turned away I eventually broke down in the Doctors and said that I couldn't cope with her anymore as she was controlling the whole family, as much as we loved her.  I think this spurned them into referring her to CAMHS where she received counselling and from that she was referred to a consultant psychiatrist where eventually she was diagnosed with aspergers.  It all makes perfect sense to me and am somewhat relieved but also worried about her coping in the future at uni etc.  We are in the process of having meetings at school as she is bullied quite badly (typical for an aspie girl as they appear the victim, have avoidance behaviour and take everything to heart) and is receiving counselling at school once a month to discuss her anxieties and anything else that is worrying her.  She is mega intelligent, fantastic singer and actress (just done filming for discovery channel) and we are very proud of her.  We try and celebrate her differences but I do struggle still with her behaviour and how to handle her meltdowns, insecurities, persecution complex, lack of self esteem.  She is desperate to be "popular" (!!) and have lots of friends and my heart breaks for her when another "friend" lets her down or falls out with her.  She is coming to understand her differences and I am also in the process of getting books by tony attwood and leaving them lying around for her to pick up.  Life is different, challenging and sometimes heartbreaking living with her but she does bring much joy and has me in hysterics sometimes.  I just wish that girls with aspergers were better understood as they present so differently from boys and I think thats where the problem lies.  Best of luck to you and your beautiful daughter.  Billy x

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