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advice needed

pixie

Hi

My daughter cam to me the other day and havng read about aspergers online and taking the tests believes she has aspergers, I do too, she show 90% of the traits, the thing that affects her most is her lack of social skills, she explained it to me as not having anything in her head to say when her peers are in conversation, she has to concentrate to thin kof something to say which doesnt come naturally, i am trying to get her diagnosed but would like some advice, there are no groups in my area but although i have a few suggestions for her it would help if there are others who have benefited from advice on how they can deal with this..

Parents

  • Sadly you'd be lucky to be in an area where there is good support right now!

    Particularly if your daughter is of, or is approaching, adult age.

    Now, how to 'deal' with this.

    Firstly, I highly recommend getting, reading, and suggesting she, but not forcing her to, also read 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' by Tony Attwood - pay particular attention to the early chapters describing what Asperger's is, and the positive aspects of it.

    In fact this is the most important thing - to think of it as a positive not as a negative.

    I really dislike the way Asperger's, and Autism in general, is describe as a 'disorder' or a 'disability'.

    It is not!

    It's a 'dif-ability', or a 'dif-order' - that is, autism, and particularly Asperger's, is not due to a malfunctioning brain, it's due to a differently wired brain.

    You can think of it like the difference between a 'PC' computer, and a 'Mac' computer - they're both computers, they both work perfectly well, but they each work differently, and it can be difficult to get one to communicate with the other.

    (And, just in case there's anyone reading this that knows about such things, I know that's now no longer a very good analogy, because modern Mac's and modern PC's are essentially the same, and can communicate with each other perfectly well, but, well, I've not got a better analogy, well, maybe just one...)

    Or like the difference between Betamax and VHS.

    One is not 'better' than the other, they're as good as each other, but in different ways.

Reply

  • Sadly you'd be lucky to be in an area where there is good support right now!

    Particularly if your daughter is of, or is approaching, adult age.

    Now, how to 'deal' with this.

    Firstly, I highly recommend getting, reading, and suggesting she, but not forcing her to, also read 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' by Tony Attwood - pay particular attention to the early chapters describing what Asperger's is, and the positive aspects of it.

    In fact this is the most important thing - to think of it as a positive not as a negative.

    I really dislike the way Asperger's, and Autism in general, is describe as a 'disorder' or a 'disability'.

    It is not!

    It's a 'dif-ability', or a 'dif-order' - that is, autism, and particularly Asperger's, is not due to a malfunctioning brain, it's due to a differently wired brain.

    You can think of it like the difference between a 'PC' computer, and a 'Mac' computer - they're both computers, they both work perfectly well, but they each work differently, and it can be difficult to get one to communicate with the other.

    (And, just in case there's anyone reading this that knows about such things, I know that's now no longer a very good analogy, because modern Mac's and modern PC's are essentially the same, and can communicate with each other perfectly well, but, well, I've not got a better analogy, well, maybe just one...)

    Or like the difference between Betamax and VHS.

    One is not 'better' than the other, they're as good as each other, but in different ways.

Children
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