• Replies 20 replies
  • Subscribers 11 subscribers
  • Views 1197 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Is it my fault?

aurelis

I’m 27 and had the past few years doing different creative jobs here and there. I’ve had a lot of interests but really struggled with sticking to one thing. I feel really confused as I keep trying  to do many different things, but can’t keep up with my expectations of it all, and I’m not earning much. I feel shame as many people have told me that I’m doing too much, and I continue to try and do too much. I feel really unsatisfied and I feel as an adult my age, I should know what I’m doing , stick to one thing I can really focus on and progress in that.

But I keep getting tangled up in my head. I’m trying to prove that I have an adult mindset at the same time and please what I think people want of me, and I can’t find what I really want to focus on. 

I think there is a lot of self judgment and being stubborn in my own head, and I think that’s affected me a lot. I don’t want to be in this same position in a year, that’s for sure.

Sorry if it seems I’m being too hard on myself. I struggle to give myself grace when I do feel I need to sort myself out soon.

Parents

  • Thank you for posting this. This is exactly how I have been feeling lately and I haven't found other people who relate. 

    I don't know if its a neurodiverse brain thing but I jump from project to project on an almost daily basis, whether its journaism and writing, digital marketing, trying to learn how to fix cars, anything. I never seem to actually make a success of any of these things and I think it might be cos I don't stay on any of them long enough. I always have at least 5 ideas bouncing around my head at any one time

    I don't have any solutions for you but I just want to say you are really not alone with this and please don't be so hard on yourself, its how our brains are wired and it doesn't mean your not an adult or that its your fault. We cant judge ourselves by the way other people do things 

    One thing that might help, I have recently started using an Oxford To Do List notebook planner, it helps me pick one of the 5 ideas bouncing around my head and focus on that just for one day and then if I want I can focus on a different one tomorrow but it just helps me plan out what I can do for that idea each day and helps with the tangles in the head 

  • in reply to Billy87

    Thanks for sharing this. It’s been hard to not beat myself up when I compare to neurotypical, especially when I look on social media. I get really scared that because of my autism I’ve missed opportunities to grow that I could’ve if I wasn’t so stuck in myself and not being more open minded.

    ill try that Oxford to do list. That sounds helpful. I’ve got a dump list at the minute and using that to help keep hopes to try things in the future. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m choosing to do it to be more interesting or because I’m genuinely curious. Like fishing for example.

Reply
  • in reply to Billy87

    Thanks for sharing this. It’s been hard to not beat myself up when I compare to neurotypical, especially when I look on social media. I get really scared that because of my autism I’ve missed opportunities to grow that I could’ve if I wasn’t so stuck in myself and not being more open minded.

    ill try that Oxford to do list. That sounds helpful. I’ve got a dump list at the minute and using that to help keep hopes to try things in the future. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m choosing to do it to be more interesting or because I’m genuinely curious. Like fishing for example.

Children
No Data