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Loss of a Parent

stardustwolf

Hi, I'm a 28-year-old woman, and I've recently lost my mother.

My mum was always my main carer, and I'm finding it difficult to adjust to life without her. I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience of losing a family member, especially a parent, and how they've coped with it.

This is my first time writing a forum post, and I'm feeling quite nervous about putting myself out there.

  • in reply to stardustwolf

    Thanks for your reply,   , and glad my post proved useful. I hope you can continue to make time and space for yourself.

  • in reply to leveller61

    Hello  ,

    Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experiences of losing your father at a similar age to me, and your mother in your 40s. It's helpful to hear how different grief can be and how it can continue to unfold over time. I'm trying to take things one day at a time and give myself the space to process everything. I really appreciate your advice and encouragement.

  • in reply to Desmond1979

    Hello  ,

    I’m so sorry to hear about both your parents, especially having lost your father so young. Although I know that other people lose their parents at my age, I don’t have anyone in my immediate family or friendship group who has been through the same thing, and it’s something I’ve struggled with and spoken about with my bereavement counsellor. It’s comforting to hear from someone who understands that experience, and I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement.

  • in reply to emanningis

    Hello  ,

    I’m sorry for the loss of your grandad. I like the thought of someone being a gift who continues to inspire us. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for your comforting and encouraging message.

  • Hi  , and welcome. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Grief is a very personal experience and can depend on the circumstances. My father died suddenly when I was 27 and my mother declined and died when I was in my 40s.

    I found that the grief didn't all come out at the start and that it was important to talk about it, so I would encourage you to explore bereavement counselling if you think it might help you. There are all the practical things to do as well and I hope people around you will ease the burden. The pain does ease in time. Be gentle with yourself each day.

  • I lost my mother, the exact same age as you. My Father was Killed, in The Troubles, whenever I was ten.

    Hang in there! You're among friends.

  •  Welcome to the forum  

    That must be very hard.

    I like to think of my grandpa, now not with me anymore, as a gift that should encourage me to become a more compassionate person, just as he was.

    I hope slowly things become clear for you as well.

    Take small steps, and give yourself time to process it.

  • in reply to Zac Mod

    Hi  ,

    Thank you for your kind and thoughtful message. It means a lot to feel supported by the NAS community during such a difficult time. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond and share these additional resources, which I will certainly look into.

    Losing my mum has been incredibly difficult, and I am still trying to navigate my way through the grief. Your kind words and reassurance are very much appreciated.

    Thank you again for your kindness and support.

  • in reply to LateToTheAlphaQuadrant

    Hi  ,

    Thank you for your reply, and I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother too. Your message has been a comfort to me, and I really appreciate you taking the time to share your experience and advice.

    My bereavement counsellor has also explained that grief takes time and that I may experience different emotions as I work through my loss. I will certainly look into the support organisations you mentioned.

    Thank you once again for your kindness and support.

  • Hello   

    It really does take quite a lot of courage to write a post about something deeply personal, thank you for taking the time to reach - as a member of the NAS community, you are respected and cared about.

    I am deeply sorry for your loss, experiencing a great change in our life can be such a difficult adjustment - you certainly do deserve all the care and support you can get in this time.

    while    has provided excellent advice and signposting, I would to suggest several resources:

    Bereavement - Our NAS guide to bereavement

    Autism Services Directory - Perhaps there may be suited resources local to you listed on our service directory.

    I wish you the best going forwards in this time - you deserve the best support available.

    Take care - Zac Mod.




  • Hi Stardustwolf, and welcome to the forum. It's nice to meet you. I am a 52 year old woman. 

    I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mum 3 years ago this December. For all her faults, she was also my 'go-to,' person when I had bad anxiety and panic attacks. I still haven't found a substitute for that so try and avoid triggers as much as possible. 

    I'm sorry to tell you but it really does take time. I think I spent the first year on my laptop online fom the moment I got up to when I went to bed as a distraction. I also called a few helplines and have just Googled Cruse for you, https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-support/helpline/ That page had their number and opening times. I have also Googled Mind and they have this guide, https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/support-and-self-care/ 

    Again, I am sorry you are going through what you are going through and I really wish you all the best.